Accidentally On Purpose
by Simply Prettyful
Summary: Odd how two lives seem to tangle together so much. Anya and Albus find that out with ease. But as Anya and Albus become closer through the years, what did she do accidentally on purpose? Fall in love.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:**_ So... I guess I wrote something else. Sorry if you're waiting for Ash to be finished. I actually have it all written up but I keep needing to tweak it to what the moderators say. Its all fine though. It doesn't effect that story much. Anyhow, welcome to AIL! I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

  
**_Accidentally In Love_**

"By legend, brooms are one of the most common means of transportation for witches. A popular American writer of the nineteenth century, Oliver Wendell Holmes, penned this rhyme on the subject:

"_In Essex county there's many a roof_

_Well known to him of the cloven hoof;_

_The small square windows are full in view_

_Which the midnight hags went sailing through,_

_On their well-trained broomsticks mounted high,_

_Seen like shadows across the sky;_

_Crossing the tracks of owls and bats,_

_Hugging before them their coal black cats._

"Women were more likely than men to use this means of travel, perhaps because a broom is used for domestic chores, which men avoided. Sorcerers, when they did fly, tended to ride on pitchforks. For reasons never explained, witches in Europe and America were seen flying more often than those in Britain.

"Witches were rumoured to rub their broomsticks with a magical ointment to make them fly. Then, according to legend, they rode them straight out the chimney. This is just a colourful exaggeration, derived from the real practice of pushing a broom up the chimney to let neighbours know one was away from home. Still, it sounds remarkably like travelling via floo.

"If villagers suspected that witches were flying about they would ring church bells, which reportedly had the power to knock witches off their broomsticks."

History of Magic often failed to hold my attention. I can only think of... Nope. Not once has it ever managed to catch my attention and run away with it to the distant mountains of the Himalayas or the Canadian Rockies or... or some other mountain range out there somewhere. So there I was; sat in History of Magic, day dreaming the lesson away. I was half asleep or something and resting my cheek on the base of my palm whilst leaning against the wall. The wall was good. Wall was my friend.

The ghost professor- whose name I never bothered to learn. Pimms, I think it was... Whatever. The man was a ghost and he was droning on in monotone about something or other. Goblins? Nope. I think that was fourth year curriculum. I didn't particularly care then either. I just flew through the exams and was lucky to have somehow slurped up enough information to pass.

For some reason, some people around me were definitely paying attention. How could they stand it? I wasn't even listening and yet the voice was slowly murdering me- and curdling that morning's milk in my stomach.

That thought caught my attention. Milk. God, I love milk. I'm obsessed with it. Only green top, though. Semi-skimmed. I could live off milk, honestly. I had it every morning and in the evenings too. I licked my lips and gained a strange look from someone across the room. I pulled a face and shook my head with wide eyes. Oh dear Merlin's porn magazines! I must have looked insane... So no change there then.

Thankfully, the time to escape like a mad loon on loon tablets- ahem, I mean, the time to exit the delightful class... Who am I kidding? The time to escape like a mad loon on loon tablets in Loon City General, Loon City, Loondon, United Loondom on the planet of Loony in the galaxy of the Loony Way in the Loonsome Universe. Which is to say, run out of the classroom and make a break for fresh air by practically bull-dozing one's self through the crowds of unsuspecting students. Bwahahaha.

So I did exactly that. Once I was out of the stampede for the door, I hurtled into the hustle and bustle like an excited dog trying to find its ball.

"Honestly," I heard an all too familiar voice say and looked behind me to see my best friend, Mila Jackson, looking at me with her hands on her hips. "You're just like a fricking puppy! Come here and stay here. We've got break before we go to transfiguration."

I rolled my eyes and poked my tongue out at her. "Shush, will you? I'm trying to enjoy myself."

"Yeah because everyone enjoys themselves by acting like a walk deprived dog," sighed Mila. "How the heck did you get so insane?"

"Uh... I don't know. Maybe it's genetic?" I tried.

"Maybe," Mila laughed. "Your father is crazy enough."

I reached into my bag and took out a carton of milk. A small one. The size of what the Americans call a juice box but I have no idea what other than carton to call the damned things. Mila rolled her eyes as I opened the corner and started to down the milk. God, I love milk. The cool and refreshing taste of the white spoils of a cows udder after having been heated up and then rapidly cooled down because of the Pasture thingie some guy made up to make sure that milk didn't make people sick or die from germs or parasites. Nothing like it.

"What is it with you and milk?" asked another voice and Mila and I waved at our other friend, Lily Potter.

"It's good for you," I answered. "Plus it tastes amazing."

"Wow..." Lily said and moved aside so a group of three girls walked by. She watched them. "Honestly. I don't think my cousin could get any more whorish right now. She's hanging around with M.K and Megan."

Lily's cousin would be Dominique Weasley. Legend has it that Dominique is part veela. Gotta hand it to her. She may look like your average beautiful, evil, little bitch but in the real world, she's so much more than that. Pure. Freaking. Evil. In third year, she knocked my milk from my hands. I cried for half an hour. Not very long considering I can mope for days with bouts of crying and shiz but still. How dare she knock my milk from my hands? It got onto my uniform so I had to scourgify the calcium rich mess from my uniform before it started to seem up and go sour. I would have smelled like gone off milk for the day then.

M.K was a rich poshie from somewhere, some place in England. Her name was actually Marian Katherine Anderson but everyone calls her M.K. She's a leggy blonde with huge... Hold on and I'll think of a word I'm comfortable saying. Oh. There's one. Basoomas. What? I get uncomfortable saying the words... breast or... boob. Gah! Anyway, she's like a muggle Barbie doll. A fake personality to go with it.

Finally, the third blonde in this triad is the stereotypical dumb blonde known through out the school as Megan. Megan can often remind you of a goldfish. Her attention span lasted less than mine (and that is an achievement). Once, in the middle of potions, whilst the professor was lecturing the class and she put a hand up and asked how to spell potion. Yeah. That's how dumb this girl is.

Lily turned back to us once the plastic trio had disappeared from view. "I swear. Those girls must be conducting some sort of experiment."

"Yeah. It's how big they can make their basoomas," I joked.

"Basoomas? Don't you mean boobs?" Mila asked.

I gave an embarrassed squeak and covered my ears.

"I can't believe you're embarrassed about saying boobs," Lily laughed. "Typical you."

I smiled and downed the rest of my milk, careful not to let ANY WHATSOEVER drip from my mouth. That would be unattractive.

"Heads up, chicas. The Gryffies are on their way down the corridors!" called a voice that made Lily roll her eyes.

"My brother, the idiot," Lily muttered.

James Potter was Quidditch Captain. A sixth year, he looked nothing like his younger sister. Lily had fiery red hair and green eyes. She was pale as anything which seemed to be the only trait that the siblings shared. A trait they shared with the majority of Britain's population (not counting Essex which seemed to adore fake tan a little too much if you ask me) actually. James on the other hand, had black and unruly hair with blue eyes and a splattering of freckles. James was tall; Lily was short. Lily was a little on the stocky side (don't tell her I said that or she'll take to murdering me in the middle of my slumbering); James was slim and lanky. Lily was like a miniature version of her mother, Ginny Potter. James was a mixture of his mother and father and apparently was the spit of his grandfather.

The Gryffindor Quidditch team walked by, James winking at Mila as he went by and waving to Lily and I. I was older than Lily but he still deemed Lils and I to be too young to do anything. I'd known the Potters since I was little. My father is an auror, you see. So, every time Harry Potter called a meeting at his house, Dad would take me around to play with the Potter kids. James grew up thinking of me as a sister of sorts.

"They look like a pack of hungry wolves," I commented to Lily.

"Well. They definitely are hungry," Lily said. "Whether it be food or the women slash men they kidnap from reality."

I agreed with Lily before Mila pulled me off to go to transfiguration. As per usual, we were the last ones to arrive. Mila had this thing where I always had to go through doors first. I never understood it until that lesson. I pushed the door open and...

I got absolutely bloody soaked from head to toe. Spluttering, I coughed and wiped the water from my face. I opened my eyes slowly and had to wipe them again just to look at the person who had decided to throw aquamenti at me. Surprisingly, I found the attacker and raised an eyebrow at him. He himself looked shocked... and a little scared. Well, I am loony.

"Albus. Why?" I asked. I didn't need to specify. It was plainly obvious what I was asking about.

"Well... Scorpius dared me to do it to Professor Mercury," Albus said sheepishly.

Albus was the middle Potter child. He had messy black hair and green eyes. He was tall and lanky. He was a mini-Harry Potter. The middle Potter waved his wand at me again and I was instantly dried off. Beside him, his best friend, Scorpius Malfoy was laughing. The platinum blonde gained many a glare from me throughout the time we spent in Hogwarts. He and Al were forever plotting. Typical Gryffindors.

Mila was laughing into her pretty little French manicure. Yeah, because a very good nail job can hold your laughter from my ears, Mila.

God. I needed milk right then. I looked at Mila. "I have half a mind to turn you into an armadillo, Mila."

"Oh leave it alone," Mila laughed. "It was funny."

I raised an eyebrow and tried desperately to hide my smirk. I failed.

It was the middle of the lesson when an odd thought reached my head. I had been thinking about milk (duh) and how much I wanted it. Then I moved onto other dairy products. I went to cheeses, first. I love cheese. Particularly American cheddar. I wasn't allowed cheese usually because it made me hyper. Screw the establishment of parents. If I want cheese, I'll bloody have cheese! Then I started thinking about cream. I went through a bunch of different types. Single cream... Double cream... Whipped cream... Oh God. Whipped cream. Gotta love that. Oh! Whipped cream on top of ice cream. Oh! With maple or chocolate syrup and chocolate scrapings or something similar and oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh marshmallows! Wait... Marshmallows?

I leaned to Mila. "Pst. Mila? Mila?"

"Mhm?" she answered, distracted by her day dreaming. Needless to say she wasn't the best transfiguration student.

"Mila, do you think marshmallows are disgusting?" I asked.

"What?" she asked, looking up at me.

"I asked if you think marshmallows are disgusting," I shrugged.

"What? No," she sighed. "Why?"

"I think their a good kind of gross. Teensy, tiny, little edible fat people," I grinned.

Mila just stared at me.

"Miss Fallon. Would you like to explain to the class what you are talking about?" asked Professor Mercury.

I looked up at our transfiguration teacher. He seriously wanted to know? I bet he didn't expect me to answer.

I stood up and announced it. "Only that marshmallows are kinda gross but in a good way and are like teensy, tiny, little edible fat people," I grinned.

Some of the class cracked up. That would be the Gryffindors. The other half were Ravenclaws who just stared at me as if they thought that if they did it long enough, I'd burst into flames or, even better, go away.

Professor Mercury didn't find it very funny. "Five points from Gryffindor for disrupting my lesson. You have detention on Friday evening. Be here at five pm sharp."

He returned to the lesson.

* * *

_Dear Diary of Dairy,_

_You may be wondering about my name. Well, I'm Anya Kiloran Fallon. Most call me Annie or Ann. I'm a fifth year Gryffindor, studying to take her OWLs and eventually her NEWTs. I can't wait to get my butt out of this place, I'll be honest. It's stifling my creativity. Everything is study this, job that, future everything in between. It ain't that bad, really... But it does annoy me._

_As I tell anyone who will listen (so no one then), I am practically a saint in human form. But I get very little thanks for it. For instance, the other day when I helped an old witch in Hogsmeade cross the road. I didn't have to. In fact, I was in a mad dash to get some milk chocolate from Honeydukes (and ordinary milk from the Three Broomsticks). But I did. You know what the old hag did then? Hit me with her handbag (it nearly ate my sleeve) and yelled that she didn't want to cross the road and that she was waiting for her mate to go off to pole dancing lessons!_

_What a world I live in..._

"What are you writing?" my dorm mate, Rose Weasley asked.

"About that pole dancing witch from Hogsmeade," I shrugged and looked at her.

Rose had made herself comfortable in our dorm this year. She had surrounding her bed with books. There were books everywhere in her section of the room. Under her pillow, on top of her pillow, in the pillow case, under her blankets, on top of her blankets. In her draws. She even had books on her earrings but in fairness, the didn't have words and were teeny and silver and I had bought them as a birthday present to her a year ago. Mila and I coordinated. Mila got her necklace with a book pendent.

"Oh her again? Yes, I was there. She was nowhere near the road and the road wasn't even busy that day," Rose shrugged.

"You, Rose, are brilliant," I said dryly. I got up and exited the dorm.

"Where are you off to now?" Rose asked.

"Where else? To go get some milk," I shrugged.

Rose rolled her eyes. "All right but be back before I start my prefect rounds this time, will you?"

I shrugged. "Maybe," I said and ducked up, going down the steps like a... going down steps thing. I exited the girls staircase and nearly bumped into someone. Mila was going back to our dorm. She looked a little ruffled at the feathers. I saluted her jokingly. "Ay up, Mila. I'm off to the kitchens. Want anything?"

"No," Mila sniffed. She went off before I could catch her and ask her what was wrong.

I'd interrogate her later on, I decided. So I continued my intrepid journey to the kitchens. Through the portrait and down the moving staircases. Down, down, down until I was at the bottom. I found the right portrait and tickled the pear. It was strange to do. I mean, it wasn't so much as tickling but scratching at the pear. But it did the job. The portrait swung open and I flew down the steps until I reached the kitchens. Arriving at the kitchens, I looked around. Well lit with house elves everywhere. Just as I left it.

Out of nowhere, a hand landed on my shoulder and I jumped a mile out of my skin like a jumpy jumper person. I shrieked and turned only to find Albus. I rolled my eyes and waved. "Hey, Ally Pally. What brings you here to the room that we're in?"

"The kitchens? Easy. I wanted to get something to eat. Seems you had the same idea," Albus smiled.

"Actually, I came for milk but eating sounds good too," I grinned.

"Marshmallows?" Albus asked.

"What about them?" I asked.

"That comment in transfiguration today. Had Scorp and I practically wetting ourselves," he grinned and led the way through the kitchens. "I mean, you are insane."

"I aim to please," I said distantly as I noticed the huge (and I mean huge) keg thingummies labelled milk.

Al had to snap his fingers in front of my face in order to regain my attention. "So how are your OWLs going?" Al asked.

"Well... They're going," I said. An elf came up to us with plates of pastries and cakes and the like. I asked for milk and lots of it. "I'm confident I will fail two of my exams at the very least."

"You're afraid of failing?" Al asked as if this were surprising.

"Yeah. The stress and anxiety make me bitchy and stuff, too," I said as my milk arrived. I thanked the elf and took to drinking it immediately. "Oh God, I love milk!"

Albus raised an eyebrow.

"Al, you've known me for years and you've just now heard I love milk?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No. It's just... the innuendo people can make," Al said slyly.

"Want to get in my pants, Albus?" I joked. We laughed.

"So what's up with Mila?" Al asked.

"I don't know. She just passed me and she looked really upset and I'll talk to her later. Might be boy problems. Might just be that time of the month," I shrugged. "You can never tell with girl kind."

Al nodded, most probably storing this information for later.

An elf came up and offered us a sausage sarnie. My mouth watered. "They are local," said the elf and left the sandwiches with us.

Obviously, he meant the sausages. Or maybe the bread. Possibly both.

"So... What do you want to do with your life?" Al asked as we dug in.

"I don't even know yet," I said. "Something will pop up, I suppose. What about you?"

"I don't know. Everyone expects me to be an auror like my dad. Like a clone of him or something," Al said, almost softly.

I looked up at him and swallowed my sarnie down. "You aren't a clone of Harry Potter. You're you. You cannot be any other you other than yourself."

Albus looked a little confused. Then his expression cleared up. "Look. It's hard to explain. Each of us Potters have a role. Dad is the Boy Who Lived and the Man Who Conquered. Mum is the home-maker slash ex-professional Quidditch team who is currently a sports reporter instead."

"Those two are obvious, I guess," I said, chewing a little so it sounded more like I said, "'Ose ooh ah oh-ee-us, ah guss."

Al nodded. "When you think about it, it is all obvious. Lily is the pretty one with her own perfume line, her own modelling career from the age of twelve. She's the little girl of the family. The Daddy's girl who's so much like Mum it's almost scary."

"And then there's James?" I asked after swallowing.

"James is the eldest. The overly protective of his family one. The one with a big head and an even bigger list of girls that he's already slept with," Al said. "Then there's me. I'm the middle child. Middle children are meant to be the invisible ones. I'm nowhere near. I look just like Dad. I just do. I can't help that. But to the media... I'm meant to be mini-Harry Potter. The one to be exactly like him."

I watched his expression. "But you don't want to be like your dad? Do you?"

"No. I want to be my own person," Al said and looked at me. He had a flickering smile on his lips. "You know, despite your annoying loudness and inability to seem to be able to cope without milk-" as if on cue, I actually took a gulp of milk- "you are really easy to talk to. Like a therapist. Maybe you could do that."

"Nah. Like you said. I'm annoyingly loud," I said and smiled. "Besides, sitting there and talking to a person who doesn't feed my ever growing ego doesn't sound inviting."

I poked my tongue out at him.

Albus smiled. "I mean it, though. You're a great listener."

"Happy to help, mate," I grinned and drank some more milk.

* * *

When I sleep, I'm like a rock. I may as well be dead to the world. Very few things will wake me up. Just saying that you have milk for me will make me bolt awake, for example. (I did tell you about my love of milk, right?) Once, Mila tried to wake me by aquamenti. It didn't really work but I did wake up an hour later on a damp pillow and wondering what the heck had happened.

This night, I didn't wake up. I dreamt.

My dreams are vivid things. Odd things that show me people and places I know and love or hate and then playing a little story where I'm the star. Or so I think I am. Sometimes, I have no idea. Like that one time where I dreamt I was preggers with Scorpius' baby. God, that dream was horrible. Scorpius kept me three steps behind him just in case anyone thought we were together. Plus, I was having his baby! Ew!

Tonight, I dreamt about Albus and Mila and marshmallows. I turned them into marshmallows and was attempting to eat them when Lily came along and told me that will never do and I was doing it all wrong and her mouth elongated and she ate Mila. It was wonderful.

When I woke up the next morning, I groaned and dragged myself out of bed and into my routine. I usually woke up earlier than everyone else so I could get changed without worrying about anyone seeing. I just... Nope. No. No getting changed around other girls.

I looked in the mirror in the dorm. There were two full length mirrors in there. I was standing in front of the one that didn't have a spider-web like crack in the corner. I tried to remember my mother's advice. She told me that if I go to a party and I feel shy, enter the room with a big smile. Put your shoulders back, hold your head up high, let your arms hang loosely by your sides. Then, even if you don't feel confident, no one will ever know.

I never really exercised this before. I tried it then. OK. Big smile. Loosey goosey arms. Big smile. Shoulders back. High head. Swingy swing swing.

I look like an orang-utan or something. Not that there's anything wrong with orang-utans. I mean, I like those big, huge, ginger monkeys. But I definitely did not want to look like one myself. An orang-utan, that is. Not a ginger. Oh... _Merde._ Mind my French.

Maybe I'm an orang-utan named Bob. Yeah. Bob the orang-utan.

"Annie?" Mila asked as she lifted her head. I turned my head to see her, pursing my lips in a fit of orang-utan madness. "What are you doing, Ann?"

"Uh... Nothing to do with orang-utan madness," I tried and stopped what I was doing.

"Uhuh..." Mila said and got up. She went to the bathroom.

I leaned in to the mirror and pulled a few monkey faces. First my orang-utan face. Then I tried a chimpanzee smile. I didn't have to try very hard for that one... Mila came out as I was in mid-chimp-smile. I stopped and watched her go by and get changed.

"Mills?" I asked her as I flopped onto her bed.

"Mhm?" she asked.

"Is it OK if I ask what is up?" I asked.

"It's nothing. Just something silly," she said and carried on getting her uniform ready to put on.

"So... You're not in the cake shop of aggers?" I asked.

Mila started unbuttoning her nightshirt and I squeaked before grabbing my messenger bag and running for dear life out of the dorm and into the common room. I only stopped then because I ran right into a wall of human. I completely knocked the person over with the sheer force I was running with. I looked up and smiled cheesily at Albus.

"Morning," I said and rolled away. "Sorry about that. Mila was undressing."

"So that's why you practically run out of the girls staircase every morning," Al laughed. "Ready for a day of learning?"

"Do I look like Rose?" I asked.

"Nope," he replied.

"There you go then," I laughed. "We leave taking pleasure in actually attending lessons to Rose. God knows the girl needs something other than books."

Al nodded.

I carried on. "Maybe we should get her laid by someone..."

Al's snapped to my direction. "What?"

"I was joking. Relax, Potter," I grinned and tapped his arm.

"Maybe we should get off the floor," Al said and we did so.

I stretched. "Something feels weird this morning," I said. "And I don't think it's my new found and _vair_ good orang-utan impression."

"What?" Al asked, wrinkling his nose which kinda looked a little cute.

"Oh. I was trying out this technique to look confident that my mother gave me. I never really need to feel not confident though," I shrugged. "I did it in the mirror and noticed I look all... orang-utanish."

"You're not orange though," Al pointed out.

"I could be if I moved to Essex," I pointed out. Literally pointing, too. I was pointing upwards. Like I was about to embark on a conquest or something. "Come, Sir Albus. Let us away to breakfast!"

Al rolled his eyes and yelped as I grabbed his wrist and started to run again. With him in tow, I ran down to the Great Hall. It was nice to see the rafters in the morning. The windows open for the morning owl post to arrive and stuff. Al and I sat at the Gryffindor table which had a few early risers. Most of which... where Gryffies.

James plopped down in front of Al and I and smiled at us. "So... Why are you two up so early?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh, simple," I smiled. "Al and I were just having sex in a broom cupboard. Can't you tell?"

Al looked at me, horrified. I waved away his expression.

"Sarcasm won't get you anywhere, Anya," James said, rolling his eyes. "But seriously, it's Thursday. Why are you up so early? I mean, if it were Saturday and we Gryffies were playing, then I'd understand."

"Why are you up so early?" Al asked.

"Gryffie meeting," James shrugged.

"You Gryffies," I said and rolled my eyes. I blinked and suddenly, I was surrounded by the entire team. "Actually, you Gryffies; where did you come from?"

The Quidditch team rolled their eyes. James leaned in. "It's a long story, Anya. You see, when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much-"

"Stop," I said and shoved a piece of bread in James' mouth.

It wasn't long before Mila arrived, Rose in tow. Rose appeared to be twittering on about Mila's hair. Mila looked rather like a grumpy cat as she sat down beside me, muscling one of the Gryffies away.

"Why are they here?" she grumbled and pointed a spoon at James.

All at once, we all dropped our cutlery or toast or whatever was in our hands and got up. (We all being most the Gryffies, including James himself, and I.) We held our hands in the air like... like people who get caught by guards or police or something. Oh, like we were surrendering! I have some French in me somewhere. Surrendering is in my blood. Ha ha! Oh! I can be a surrender monkey! Or rather a surrender orang-utan.

"Woah, Mila," James said.

"Just don't kill him, Mills," I begged.

"With a spoon? What's going on?" Mila asked.

"We're joking around, Milly," I shrugged and sat back down. As did everyone else.

Al looked at Mila. "Are you OK, Mila?"

"Peachy," Mila said dryly and abandoned the bowl of porridge she had just made for herself. She walked out of the hall and I frowned a very frowny after her.

"Well... " James said. "I'll live. Despite having my life threatened by a spoon."

"Laddie, it isn't the spoons you ought to look out for," I told him and grinned. "It's the sporks."

James nodded in agreement. "Yes, yes. Sporks are dangerous."

"I heard Rose was dating Scorpius," one of the Gryffies said as Scorpius sat beside Albus.

Rose was taking a drink of pumpkin juice at this point and nearly snorted it up her nose in surprise. Scorpius' eyes looked huge and round in shock and fear. James and Al froze.

Then James stood up and yelled down the other end of the table. "Oi! Hugo! Your sister is dating Malfoy!"

"What?" Hugo Weasley from the other end of the table.

James began to play charades whilst yelling. "YOUR SISTER IS DATING MALFOY!"

"Tell him to piss off," Hugo called back.

The whole hall was silent now and staring at the two.

Then I remembered. "Crap. I haven't had any milk this morning."

The whole hall burst into laughter at that statement.

* * *

"Seriously," Mila asked as we sat down for third period charms. "Why is it that you're so obsessed with milk?"

"We've had this conversation so many times already, Mila. How about we mix it up a little?" I asked.

Mila looked open to suggestion.

"Why aren't you obsessed with milk?" I asked.

Mila looked dead panned. Seriously. She looked about as unimpressed as a... an unimpressed thing. I turned away for a second to stop myself from laughing at her straight face. I'm terrible at keeping my own face straight in return. But then, a smile is always better than a frown.

"How about a different question that has nothing or even hardly anything to do with milk," Mila said and leaned back. "Did you know that Albus may possibly have feelings for you?"

"Of course he does. I've known him forever. He thinks of me as a sister," UI shrugged. I was trying to avoid the subject of... You know.

"No. Annie, sweetie, Albus _like_ likes you," Mila said slowly.

I looked at her and then around to find Albus who was talking animatedly with Scorpius. I looked back to Mila.

"I don't think so," I said.

Mila raised an eyebrow. "I bet that he'll ask you out before Christmas."

"He won't," I growled.

"Fine. Then if he asks you out before the end of Hogwarts, then you owe me a couple of favours," Mila grinned.

"Fine," I said. I was happy to see my best friend smile.

At dinner that evening, James came and sat beside me. Just randomly. He grinned about and then, as I lifted my goblet of milk to my lips.

"I need help," he told me.

"Mentally? Me too. Shove off, James. I'm eating," I said and took a sip from my goblet.

"It's about your mate, Mila," he said.

I put the goblet down and stood up, waling out of the hall with James on my heels. As soon as we were a safe distance away, James pulled a tapestry aside where he then led me through to another room where Albus, Lily and a few family members.

"OK. So... You're all here," James said and sat down, facing us all. He leaned forward expectantly.

We all waited.

"Well?" Lily asked.

"Right. Well, I kissed Mila Thompson and then I said it was a mistake and now I have no idea how to say sorry," James said.

The room was silent. I scraped my chair back and walked over to James. I stood over him for a minute. Then I slapped him. It was an awesome slap. A great slap. I walked back to my seat and glared at him.

"Mila is my best friend, you twat," I growled.

"I... I didn't mean to kiss her!" James said, looking like a slapped person. Oh wait, he was.

"I didn't mean to slap you, then," I said sarcastically. "It's not the kiss, you numpty. It's the fact you made my bestie mate hurt."

"Look, you shouldn't have kissed her in the first place," Albus said.

Lily and a few of the family members nodded.

"I-I know... But... Thing is... I may... sorta... like Mila... Like, _like_ like Mila," he said and scratched the back of his neck.

"Can I slap you again?" I asked.

"I'd rather you didn't but if you must," James shrugged.

"How about this. I won't slap you if you ask Mila out," I said.

"Deal," James swallowed.

And that was that. It wasn't as dramatic as I thought it was going to be. But then, nothing really is.

* * *

_Dear Diary of Dairy,_

_So Mila is in for a surprise. But so am I, really. I just realised how this may infringe upon my aloney time with my bestie mate of mates. Merde. Today has been so strange. First, let's start with the fact that James kissed Mila. Then told her it was a mistake. Then Mila was acting all sad and stuff. Now it turns out that James likes Mila in that way. Also on the _like_ like front, Mila thinks that Albus likes me _in that way_. No. Al does not like me in that way. There is no way. He's more of a brother to me. Right? Right._

I reread yesterday's diary entry a lot. I had detention that night so I didn't really have anything to report to my trust Diary of Dairy Goodness. I had to write seventy five lines of 'I will not interrupt Professor Mercury's, or any other staff member's for that matter, lesson and talk about marshmallows being like small and edible fat people.' I had to admit, I felt proud of all seventy five lines of that. I even made a copy to show Mila later.

I was walking back to the common room when a hand grabbed mine and pulled me beyond a tapestry. I yelped as a hand went over my mouth.

"It's just me. It's Albus," he said.

I shoved his hand from my mouth and moved away from him. I faced him in the small tunnel. "What's this about?" I asked.

"Just avoiding the fan girls. Sometimes, it's nice to grab someone who doesn't want to rip my shirt from my chest," Albus smiled.

I rolled my eyes. "I have crazy endeavours to attend to, Potter!"

"I know, I know," Albus said and rolled his own eyes. "Look. I told you before, people expect me to be mini-Harry Potter. Those fan girls think so too. I heard one of them saying they wanted to be the Ginny to my Harry."

"Oh dear," I said. "Sounds like they got it bad for the Potter Hornmiester."

"Excuse me," said a new voice. James. Where had he come from. "I'm the Potter Hornmiester."

"I thought you were the Pants Lord," I frowned.

"No. That was most definitely Al," James said.

"I'm pretty sure none of us have ever labelled me as anything. Same goes for James in this instance. I've labelled him a prat many times," Albus said.

James and I nodded in agreement when James looked up and was like, "Hey!"

I laughed. "Typical."

I looked around us and moved in a little more toward James and Albus. I noticed how small the tunnel was and how dark it seemed. I could barely see James and Albus. In fact, I couldn't really spot James. I just knew where he was from the sound of his voice. I reached into my bag and pulled out a carton of milk.

"Are you drinking milk?" James asked me.

"Well, I wouldn't be drinking Smirnoff," I replied and took a long gulp of milk. "What are you doing in here, anyway, James?"

"Oh, nothing. Hiding. I found out Lily has a boyfriend," James said and Albus looked shocked (I think).

"She's too young to have a boyfriend," Albus declared.

"She's in the year below us, Albus," I pointed out. "Didn't you have a girlfriend last year?"

"That's different! I'm not Lily," Albus pointed out.

"Besides, this is common knowledge. They've been dating for a week or so. She asked Mila how to impress a guy on a first date. They're going to Pudifoot's on Saturday for the Hogsmeade trip," I shrugged. I immediately realised I shouldn't have said anything.

* * *

**A/N:** I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. I hope the beginning was OK. I asked my friend to read it and he was like "Why don't you build up to the humour? Like Terry Pratchett does." So I was like "Like in Wyrd Sisters when he puts that stuff up about the weather- pathetic fallacy- and the witches are like 'when shall we three meet again' and the other was like 'how about quarter to three tomorrow?'" So I put a bit in from a book I've had since forever: The Magical Worlds of Harry Potter by David Colbert. Its not Warner Bro or JKR approved but it does explain and go into further detail about a load of HP related things. Enough rambling for now, tatty bye my loves. I shall see you in the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, according to _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them,_ Red Caps 'live in holes on old battlegrounds or wherever human blood has been spilled... and will attempt to bludgeon muggles to death on dark knights.' Oh dear... This creature has long existed in the legends of England and Scotland, neighbours who fought many gruesome wars. They are also known as Bloody Cap or red Comb. Their caps are red because they use them to catch the blood of their victims..." Rose read aloud.

I was sat on my bed, lying upside down with my head coming off the side and watching her upside down. "I know this is homework but we're meant to be doing Ramoras, aren't we?" I asked, confused. I reached ahead of my head and pulled forward a carton of milk with a straw poking out. I fought valiantly to get said straw in my mouth... I did manage to get it up my nose a number of times, though. Eventually, I got it in my mouth.

"This is OWL preparation. We're just doing revision classes right now, Ann," Rose said, pursing her lips and not looking up once from the book. "This is fourth year stuff... Seriously, why aren't you studying?"

"Because," I shrugged. "I'm rather busy drinking milk through my nose."

That made look up and give a look that came across as 'you are so weird' which wasn't any different from the ones I usually got from this particular red headed tornado of academic excellence.

Just then, an owl scratched at our dorm window. A pretty big owl. Must have been a long distance one... Rose reached across to open the window and let it inside. It stopped on a perch and chirped, looking at me with big golden eyes. I spun on the bed and bumped into the posts before I jumped off the bed and inspected the letter attached to its claw.

"Oh. It's for me," I said, pursing my lips and taking the parchment envelope. Rose fed the owl a few treats whilst I opened my letter.

_Dearest Áine,_

_I do hope you are well, my darling girl. Your father tells me that you are studying for your exams. Study hard, little one. Your stepfather and I shall be visiting next Hogsmeade visit. I have gained the date from your headmistress. We shall meet you- and a date, if you so wish- at that lovely restaurant from the last time we visited, The Silver Chalice. Your sister shall be attending._

_See you soon,_

_Your mother_

I scowled at the parchment and put it on my desk in the room.

"What was it?" Rose asked as she let the owl fly back out the window.

"Just a letter from my mother," I sighed.

Rose didn't know much about my mother so it was let go. My mother is... My mother is my mother. She and Dad split up when I was four. When I was five, the divorce was finalized and my mother started dating again. Last year, she found someone and married them as soon as they deemed possible. Royce is a nice bloke but a pain in the butt. The worst part of the whole thing, from my perspective, would be his age. I'm in fifth year. I'm sixteen. Royce is twenty. I know, I know. Royce was in fourth year when I was in first. My mother, the cougar.

"You OK?" Rose asked. "You've been staring at that carton of milk for a while now."

I looked up at Rose and blinked. "Yeah... yeah. I'm fine."

I left the dorm and nearly bumped into a pair of sixth years climbing the tower to their dorm. I apologized before racing down the staircase and out of the tower. I stopped and looked over the balcony, looking around. No one. I closed my eyes and carried on to the boys staircase. I went up and up and up until I found the fifth year dormitory. I knocked the door and burst in.

"Albus Severus! You in here?" I asked.

The dorm was empty. I frowned and cocked my head. Then, miraculously, Albus' head popped from the bathroom and he looked at me surprised. His hair was wet and a drop of water was just about to fall. He looked at me and I looked at him. He disappeared for a minute before coming back, dressed and dry.

"That... That was sufficiently awkward," I said and pursed my lips, moving them to the side of my face.

"Agreed. Now, what is it you'd like, Kittykat?" Albus asked and leaned forward.

I took a breath. "You know your Potter Plot?" I asked him and he nodded. "Well, Lord of the Pants, I'll participate if you do me a favour in return?"

Albus raised an eyebrow. "And that would be?"

"My mother is coming to Hogsmeade this Saturday," I started. "She's bringing my sister. And my stepfather. We're going to The Silver Chalice. She told me to bring a date. So... I was wondering if you'd pretend to be my boyfriend?"

Albus blinked. Then he fell backwards, deep in thought as he lay back. We stayed that way for a few minutes, me staring at him whilst he lay there. Then I got bored and just stood there.

"Albus?" I asked.

"Huh?" he asked. "Oh, right. Uh, sure. But you need to promise to help James and I."

"I promise," I nodded and lifted my right hand. I held my little finger down with my thumb. It was a Girl Guide salute.

"What is that you're doing with your hand?" Albus asked, shaking my other hand on the deal.

"Great," I nodded.

Bloody Hell. Crap. Merde. Ourdure. What have I been dropped into? Cacky, that's what.

-x-x-x-x-

Titches look up to Mila and I. They honestly do. I mean, take this example. There I was, minding my own business beside Mila who was messing with her blonde hair, and a pair of titchy girls came out of nowhere and grinned at us expectantly.

I looked at them. Two second year girls. One from Hufflepuff and one from Gryffindor.

I blinked. "Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?" I asked, pointing at one who was wearing a dress.

The girls giggled.

The Gryffindor turned to the Hufflepuff and smiled. "See? I told you she was mad."

"Double cool with knobs on," grinned Huffie Girl.

Mila and I blinked and watched as they hopped along.

"What...?" Mila asked.

"Is the milk in this castle laced with drugs?" I asked and brought out another carton of the stuff to examine it. I popped it open and took a sip. "Nope. Not the milk."

"It's as if they look up to you and try to emulate you," Mila said, blinking in astonishment.

"Oi. I am amazing, you know. I am very emulatable," I said and poked my tongue out at her.

"Oh Annie," sang a voice that made me choke on my milk. I turned to see James Potter and the Gryffindor Quidditch team skipping along behind him. "An ickle birdie told me you have a date with my brother."

Cue my milky spit take and Mila's jaw dropping like an anvil to the ground. Whilst we did said actions, James laughed. Mila turned to me and stared at me with wide eyes.

"I CAN EXPLAIN!" I declared. Everyone waited. "My mother is coming to Hogsmeade."

They blinked.

"My sister and stepfather will be there. Uh, my mother is this huge snob who expects me to be like my sister," I told them.

"How old is your sister?" James asked.

"We're twins," I said, dreading the next question which would most probably be where is my sister.

"Where is your sister?" James asked, the Gryffies behind him nodding in agreement. "If you're twins, shouldn't she be in Hogwarts."

"My sister... My sister learns from a private tutor whilst she... whilst she travels," I said and looked away, frowning.

"Travels?" one of the Gryffies asked.

"Yeah... Uh... My sister is the Which Wonder Witch model," I sighed and tried to make myself smaller.

There was some whispering before Mila took my wrist and yanked me to the Great Hall. (The worst part being I dropped my milk. I cried a little.) She didn't bother explaining why she dragged me away. I already knew anyway. Mila had known at my sister the model from day one when she noticed that if I did things to my hair, I'd look exactly like the Which Wonder Witch model. But now that the secret was out...

I was about to become popular for the wrong reasons.

-x-x-x-x-

"How did we not notice this before?" Lily demanded as I tried to hide away behind Mila's golden hair.

"Well... Mum and Dad split up when I was little, Lils. Remember? I stayed with Dad because that is what I wanted and my sister went with Mum because she had just gotten her first modelling job and Dad didn't approve," I explained. "About a year later, Dad was promoted and started taking me to visit you guys."

"Oh," Lily said. "I still can't believe you've got a twin sister."

"I choose not to myself," I said softly.

"But why? If Albus or James were models- because that is so possible with James' teeth and Albus'... everything- but if they were models, I'd totally exploit that for, like, free merchandise," Lily grinned.

"Yes. Because I want free bras, love potions and pink stuff," I said. "The only pink thing I really like is strawberry milkshake."

"Uhuh. Speaking of my brothers, what's this I hear about you going out with Al on Saturday?" Lily asked curiously.

"Uh... Well..." I said.

"She gave in when Albus asked her for the bazillionth time," Mila told Lily. Which surprised me because she must have known it was actually something to do with the Potter Plot.

"Plus, I needed one to see my mother at the Silver Chalice," I said dryly.

Lily shivered. She'd only met my mother once but once is enough. Remember I told you about how my mother is a cougar? She's a cougar who is also very posh and in to beauty. She tried to give Lily a make-over once. Aunt Ginny went nuts. That was one of the very few other times when I saw my horrid mother.

Seriously, my mother should not be a mother. She doesn't act like one. She constantly compares me to my pretty sister. She constantly rubs Royce in my face because he's hot and stuff. She constantly looks down her perfectly sculpted nose at me. I'm her daughter. Not a piece of shi- talking mushrooms.

You know what she bought me for my birthday last year? A hair and beauty set. She knows I'm not bothered by it! It was something she most probably gave my sister but she didn't like it or want it so it got sent to me like some cast-off hand-me-down. The last nice thing my mother gave to me was a silver locket. I never cared to open it. It's locked away in my jewellery box at home.

Lily asked all sorts of questions about my sister. She asked about her career, whether she was like me in any way, if we were meant to be identical or something. I'll be honest, I'd answered all these questions before at some point with those who figured out or found out somehow that I was my sister's shadow. I saw no point in just ignoring the questions because they would all spill eventually. I was not my sister. I didn't ignore people who merely said hello. I was not my sister with her bloody shapely legs and her stupidly gorgeous hair. I was not my sister with her blondey-red hair. I was not my sister and I was glad I was not. I was not my sister and I will never be her. Not that I'd want to. I was not my sister and I was free of expectations.

-x-x-x-x-

Something about that Saturday morning felt odd. I had woken unusually early. I had dressed and brushed my hair and teeth. I left my dorm before anyone else even stirred. It was still dark outside.

All this and I was unsure of what was up in my head. I sat on the settee in my common room and waited. The sun began to rise soon after and I looked up to watch it. It was so pretty. It was like light flooded everything as soon as the top tip of the sun had poked over the hillsides. It was breath taking to watch. How the golden light flooded the windows...

A hand came from nowhere and planted itself on my mouth. I didn't move.

"Oh. You weren't going to scream anyway," said a familiar voice and I looked up to see Albus. "You look charming, my dear."

I licked his hand and he yelped, bringing it away like I had smeared acid all over it. I grinned when he glared at me.

"I'm wearing a skirt and a shirt. I just look smart and proper for my mother. Nothing slutty. Perfect way to get on her nerves," I smiled.

Albus nodded. "Sounds smart, too."

"Uhuh..."

"So," said a new voice. "We're all up to speed on the plan?"

"Yup," I replied.

"Completely," nodded Al.

"Operation Squirrel is a go," James nodded. "Alright. Just to go over the plans-"

"What plans?" asked a voice that made James and Al freeze.

I waved at Lily. "Hi. Don't worry, Lily. They're just helping me annoy mother today."

"Right..." Lily said as she flounced through the common room and out through the portrait hole.

"We'll discuss this at Hogsmeade," James said.

"Jawohl, Kommandant," nodded I and gained a look from James.

"Get her to the Great Hall and give the girl some milk, Al!" James said and shoved Albus and I through the portrait hole.

"I don't want her to suck-" Al started but I slapped him.

"Why do people make milk jokes? I mean, come on! A girl can have an obsession with it, right?" I demanded.

"Yeah, I guess," Albus shrugged. I think he was trying to cover up the shaking from his sniggering. "Whatever floats your boat."

"Oh, Albus... Albus, Albus, Albus... I'm going to mentally scar you so bad today that you'll never be able to say a milk joke ever again," I said cheerily and went on ahead to the Great Hall. "And who knows, you may even forget all about me when you see my stick insect of a sister."

Albus came after me and laughed. "Why are you so against your sister?"

"I'm not. She's against me," I replied as we started down the Grand Staircase. We stopped as ours started to move. "She always has been. Ever since I was little. She took my dolly and cut the hair off it once. So in retaliation... I cut off her hair. It was only one lock but I was grounded for a long time... Or at least what felt like a long time. You know that when you're a kid, time can fly by like a winged clock in a wind storm."

"Yeah... You really cut her hair?" Albus asked. "I tried to do that to Lily once when we were little. She was just a baby and I was a toddler, though. I had gotten jealous because of the attention she was getting..."

"Ouch," I said.

"Yeah... Mum had a fit. Dad grounded me for ages and instead of playing with James, I was put in the naughty corner for days," Albus said. "I cut it all off, you see."

"Oh," I said and sucked the air through my teeth. "I don't blame your parents for that punishment but did they ever catch on?"

"Not for a while. I was consistently mean to her for two or three years until they caught on," Albus sighed. "I was nearly a Slytherin, you know. I wasn't but only just because the Hat said I was braver than those in Slytherin."

"Wow," I said as we finally reached the bottom of the staircase. I noticed where we were. I slowly pointed upwards and stared ahead. Then I declared, "TO THE MILK!"

Albus rolled his eyes at me. "You know, you haven't laid down any ground rules or guidelines for this fake date thing."

"Oh? Well, it's simple. Don't let my mother insult you. Don't let Royce try to give you advice on women and _definitely _do not ever let my sister bat her eyelashes at you and claim you for her own," I told him as we walked into the hall and took seats at the Gryffindor table.

Today was going to be a long one.

-x-x-x-x-

"This is going to be weird," I scowled as we walked through the pre-summer warmed streets. "And to top it off, I've got to freaking eat and be civil to my _darling_ sister. Just perfecto!"

"I could go and hang with the guys for a few hours if you like," Albus said. I think I had scared him.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, no, no. You, sir, are coming. Meeting Eleri will teach you to gird your loins or something like that. It'll be an education."

"You want more milk?" Albus asked.

"Eleri hates milk," I scowled and huffed. "I drank enough earlier to get me through this."

Albus looked scared. He didn't try to hide it anymore. I didn't blame him. My mother is a scary person. She can't help being scary. It's just her bitchy personality. Well, that and her looking down at everyone who crosses her path.

"Wow... You're sure that you're her daughter?" Albus asked.

I laughed bitterly. "When you see Lil Miss Perfect, ack-ah my sister, you'll understand."

"Ack-ah?" he frowned.

"You know? Also known as?" I said.

"Oh! A.K.A. I get it," he nodded.

"Good," I said as we rounded the corner to see the Silver Chalice in all it's posh fineness and stuff. I made a disgusted noise and walked on. "Come along, Albus. Remember, sit there and try to irritate Eleri as much as you can."

"Okey dokey," Albus said and put a mischievous grin on his face.

As soon as we walked in, I stopped. Inside was just as I remembered it. Wooden floors, lace, velvet and silk. China cups and saucers. The smell of _better-than-thou_. And in the midst of it all, two tables that made my stomach churn. Instead of going to Puddifoot's... Lily and her date had come here. Most probably to make sure her brothers couldn't ruin her date. Wouldn't be the first time... The other table had four on it. My darling mother, my young stepfather, my charming sister and... a boy I didn't recognise. Maybe Albus was safe after all.

"Is that... My sister is here and not at Puddifoots," Albus blinked.

"We can't do the plan here," I muttered as we made our way to the tables. "On the bright side, I'd get banned from this gawd awful place and that would put my mother off visiting me for a while."

"Yeah... But James is going to dungbomb Puddifoots!" Albus whispered urgently.

"I'll sneak out the bathroom later and run to stop him," I promised.

Albus grunted and put on another smile as we came closer to my mother. The elder blonde smiled at us and I plastered on the fakest smile I could.

"Mam," I said through gritted teeth.

"Áine, baby!" Eleri said and hugged me across the table.

"Hello, Anya," smiled Royce as he shook Albus' hand.

My sister nodded at us. "Ann."

"Aphi," I said as I sat to the left of her. "Mam, Royce, this is Albus."

"It's nice to meet you," Albus said and shook my mother's hand. "Anya tells me a lot about you."

"Oh?" Eleri smiled.

"Yeah," he grinned. "She talks about her family all the time."

More like badmouths them. But as this was unknown to my dear mother, she smiled brightly- almost happily. Ugh.

"Ann, this is my boyfriend, Charles," Aphi said, smiling a little.

I noticed Albus' gaze kept flickering at my sister and nudged him beneath the table.

We ordered our food and sat there in mechanical conversation. Then my mother brought up something that annoyed the bejebus out of me. I mean, sweet lord Sandra! (Long story.)

"So... I brought you here to share some great news," smiled Eleri.

DON'TBEPREGNANTDON'TBEPREGNANTDON'TBEPREGNANT.

"It's very important to your mother and I," Royce said and smiled kindly.

Oh God. Mr Brainwashed and Evil Eleri are having offspring. Dear Gott in Himmel!

"You're staying with us for the holidays whilst your sister has a photoshoot in Spain," said my mother, clasping her hands together excitedly.

I blinked.

"And I'll be joining you in Hogwarts next year," smirked my sister.

I blinked again like a blinky thing. Oh! Like a star! Stars are blinky things. Dear lord of cows, stars are annoying. Winking, blinking and twinkly idiots. Why are they so freaking cheerful? I'll tell you why they are so cheerful. Because they are not me. They know nothing of the family I have to live with. Anyway, what are stars actually for? You can't read by them. They just hang about like dim torches. Hanging about isn't exactly a job, is it?

I was apparently sat there for a few minutes with a blank look on my face. Albus was shaking my arm. I blinked again and looked at him.

"Huh?" I asked. "Oh. Right... Uh... What does... What does Dad say about it?"

"Your father has a business trip to the U.S.A and does not want you to be left alone," my mother said, rolling my eyes. She looked at Albus. "What was your surname, my dear?"

"Uh..." Albus said, unsure of how to answer.

"Albus Severus Potter," growled an angry voice and Al and I turned to see an angry Lily.

"Lily Luna Potter," Albus replied slowly. I noticed him slide the chair a little.

"How dare you follow me here!" she growled.

"HE didn't, Lils," I said. "He's here as a favour to me. You remember my mother?"

I gestured to my mother and Lily paled. She nodded. "Oh... right... Sorry..."

"If you thought he was here to ruin your date," I said, "we were going to do that at Madame Puddifoot's where I am sure that by now, James is banned from."

Lily blinked. "We?"

"Uh... I owed Al because I asked him to come to this dinner," I admitted.

"When we get back to Gryffindor tower, Anya, you have a lot of explaining to do," she scowled. She left with, dragging her boyfriend behind her as she left. She gave me the hand symbol for _I'm watching you_.

Albus and I turned back to my own family and smiled nervously. My mother's lip curled a little. Was she actually smiling?

"Oh yes. Aren't you the poof, boy?" Eleri asked and my eye twitched.

"No, Mam. Albus isn't a poof," I said.

"Oh? So Rita Skeeter, who gave your sister a glowing review when she did that song with Calypso Cain, is a liar?" my mother asked.

"Yes," I scowled. I stood up. "It was nice seeing you all. If you don't mind, I'd like to take my friend and get him away from you. See you this summer."

I pushed Albus from the restaurant and scowled. "I never feel very cheerful after seeing them."

"I can tell," Albus said. "Come on. Let's go get a butterbeer? It might help. Or milk?"

I smiled a little. "Milk sounds amazing."

"It is amazing," laughed Albus.

I stood up straight and held my arm for him to link. "Well, then, Sir. We have drinks to order. We must dash, don't you think?" I asked in a posh voice.

"Certainly, my dear lady," Albus said, his voice posher than my own.

I laughed and we linked arms, skipping off toward the Three Broomsticks where we found James who looked like he had a face like a smacked arse... I'm pretty sure there was a red hand mark there too. Oh wow... It was.

"What happened to you?" I asked.

"Mila slapped me for trying to ruin Lily's date," James frowned.

"Well... My mother turned the tables and irritated me beyond the land of annoyed things this time," I sighed.

"Poor you," James said and nodded.

"I have to spend summer with Mam and Royce and Aphie," I sighed.

"Aphie?" James asked.

"My sister's nickname," I shrugged. "Like I'm Anya and you all call me Ann or Annie most the time."

"What's your sister's real name?" James asked.

"Aphrodite," I shrugged.

James nodded. "Pretty by name and by nature."

"Yeah? It's a little more than that, James," I said and rolled my eyes as Albus hopped off to get our drinks. "We're actually both named after love goddesses."

"Anya is a goddess of love?" he asked.

"If you spell it Á-i-n-e, it is. It's Irish. Mother insists on using that spelling," I said. "It's the Irish goddess of love and fertility. She's also a sun-goddess."

"Wow... Why do you know that?" James asked as Albus sat down again and handed me a glass of milk, putting a small pitcher full beside me.

"Mam insisted I knew about my name because Aphie already knew heaps about her own," I shrugged. "Who knows what goes through the mind of the elderly insane?"

"Point taken," James nodded. "So... How did it go? Turns out that Lily was not in Puddifoot's and I am now banned from the establishment. Marvie, right? Right."

"Lily was in the Silver Chalice," Albus said dryly. "I think she's getting clever. Who knows how she's been finding out our plans. I mean... We haven't become predictable, have we?"

"I don't think so," James frowned. He looked up at me. "Do you think Lily overheard everything?"

"I don't know," I shrugged.

-x-x-x-x-

"I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON AND A FAILURE!" I cried into my pillow as Rose tried to pry me from my bed.

"Come... On..." she growled.

Mila just sat there, watching.

"I'LL FAIL!" I sobbed. "I'LL BLOODY FAIL! CAN YOU IMAGINE IF I FAILED? I'M MEANT TO BE THE FUCKING DAUGHTER OF AN AUROR, FOR MILK'S SAKE!"

"Calm down," Rose shushed. "You'll be fine. Now, come on."

"JUST LEAVE ME HERE! I'LL FAIL! I'LL FA-" I cried.

"I'll give you milk and Oreos," Rose said and I shot off my bed.

The bribe would be paid after the exam and I was nervous as a nervous thing as we walked down to our Defence Against the Dark Arts exam. I was shaking visibly and I didn't really see nor hear anything correctly. I had tunnel vision and I was vaguely aware of Rose spouting facts.

It was afternoon and us Fifth years had gone to lunch after a Charms theory exam. I had ran up to Gryffindor tower to throw up in our bathroom before crying into my pillow (the scene you found us in). Mila, who had been very much distracted lately, and Rose had come after me, knowing how horribly I took pressure like an exam.

Once Rose and Mila had gotten me back to the Great Hall, they shoved a goblet of milk in my hands and I drank until I could no longer. I just hoped I wouldn't throw up this time. I'd done that before after drinking milk. It came out like cottage cheese. Disgusting, right? Then we were ushered into a small chamber beside the Great Hall, where we were to wait until called for our practical exam.

Fallon, Jackson and Weasley. Rose and Mila watched as I left them in the beginning of the "F"s. I didn't want to leave them. I wanted to go back to my dorm and throw up. I looked around once I got in and was reassured by my examiner's smile.

"Fallon, is it? Are you related to the Which Wonder Witch by any chance?" she asked.

I nodded nervously and smiled.

"Don't be nervous, poppet. I'm sure that you will do just fine," she said.

The exam began. I ended up enjoying myself as the exam passed. My smile went from nervous to confident and I failed to notice the looks I was getting from others having their own exams. Counter-jinxes and defensive spells.

"Well done, Fallon, well done. Very good, indeed," clapped the delighted examiner. Just one last thing. Can you produce a Patronus for me?"

I took a breath and closed my eyes for a moment, conjuring the best memory I could. Finally, I came up with one. Just a simple memory. Hugging my father. Nothing more. You know what they say? More is less.

"_Expecto patronum_," I said determinedly and a shot of silver light came from my wand. My breath caught as, for the first time ever, I had produced a fully corporeal patronus. My patronus wasn't surprising. It was a lamb, bounding about my exam space in excitement.

I flicked my wand and the Patronus disappeared and the examiner dismissed me, looking pleased with my efforts. I left the room looking pleased with myself. I waved at Mila and Rose and exited.

I was stopped by Albus who was going back into the chamber.

"Hi," I said cheerily.

"Hey," he smiled. "You OK?"

"I just had my exam," I shrugged. "Ah. Mila is the next out of you lot, right?"

"Correcto," I nodded. "She's unusually calm. She's being very Mila right now. She's scared that if she makes a big deal out of it, others will freak around her."

"I guess that makes sense," Albus nodded. "How do you think you did?"

"I think I did OK. They looked as impressed as I did when my Patronus came out fully corporeal," I grinned.

"Great. Out of interest, what is your Patronus?" Albus asked.

"Lamb," I grinned.

"Ah. Young, playful and full of life," Albus grinned.

"Not to mention delicious," I laughed.

Albus looked like he had more to say but was yanked inside by Scorpius Malfoy (a Gryffie with whom I am not really familiar with). I waved after him and went to go raid the kitchens for some milk. I needed it.

-x-x-x-x-

"ANYA!" screamed Rose as I tried to sleep in. "GET YOUR ARSE OUT OF BED THIS SECOND!"

I sighed and rolled out of my bed. I smiled pleasantly at Rose and Mila. The other two girls in our dorm were never around. Come to think of it, did we even have two more girls in here? Hm. I honestly couldn't recall them. I looked at Rose and Mila and smiled groggily.

"I had this weird dream where I met someone on the bus and fell in love with them and then we were parted and I was like no, no, no and then the Potter siblings turned up out of nowhere and stole my milk which made me cry," I told them. "Oh, and I needed a bucket for my crays."

"What the flobberworm is a cray?" Mila asked, ruffling my hair.

I lightly slapped her hand away. "It's like... tears but cry. Cries, I guess."

"I think I get it," nodded Mila.

Rose didn't look amused in the slightest. "Clothes. Packed. Should have been ready five minutes ago. Do you want breakfast or not?"

"Alright, alright," I grumbled and escaped into the bathroom.

Today was the last day of school. We were leaving for the train soon. This was the only day of the school calender where I woke up after Rose, Mila and everyone in Gryffindor tower. I think the exhaustion just catches up with me.

By the time I was ready, Rose had her wand raised. She packed for me magically. I rolled my eyes at the red head and let her pack the clothes I had just worn into a space of the trunk. We levitated our trunks from the girls dormitories and wheeled them the rest of the way, laughing at our jokes and ideas for this summer. Rose made us promise to write- me especially since I was going to be spending my time in Spain.

We reached the train and grinned at each other as we found a compartment.

"Right... Now what?" Rose asked.

"We play truth or dare!" declared James as he walked in, for once not surrounded by his Gryffies.

"With four of us and one of us being your cousin?" Mila asked.

"Nope. With five of us and two of us being related to him," said Albus as he walked in. He took a spare seat beside me.

"Six and three," Lily said as she joined him and sat between Mila and James.

"Seven and three," said another voice and I sighed when Scorpius Malfoy came and joined in.

"I think we're full," James said and looked around.

"Yeah... Scorpo can sit on Rose's lap though," smirked Mila.

Scorpius winked at the red headed girl and nodded as she allowed him to sit on her lap.

"Maybe it'd be best the other way around," I suggested.

There was a small murmur of agreement as Scorpius stood up and sat in Rose's place.

"So... James, truth or dare?" Rose asked. "Might as well get the hardest out of the way. He picks dare. OK. Let's see... Strip off your shirt and run the length of the train telling everyone you come across that you're a pink pygmypuff."

I was surprised by this rush of a dare. All James did was wink and take his shirt off and go. Instead of telling anyone, though, he yelled it at the top of his lungs.

"Alrighty," Mila smiled. "Rose, truth or dare?"

"Dare," Rose shrugged.

"Burn a book," Albus dared and held up a book.

Rose looked horrified. "But..."

"It's just a notebook," Albus said and rolled his eyes.

Rose's wand quivered as she cast _incendio_ and she watched the notebook burn.

"Mila, truth or dare?" Scorpius asked.

"Truth," Mila shrugged. "Gotta have some variety."

"What are your feelings about James Potter?" Scorpius asked, grinning.

"Uh," Mila said, going bright red. "I think he's a fittie..."

"Truth or dare, Scorp?" I asked.

"Truth?" Scorpius asked.

"OK. If asked by our charming red headed scarlet lady- er, I mean, lady- Rosie here if you would go out with her, what would your answer be?" I asked.

Rose went red in the ears.

"I'd say definitely," Scorpius smiled.

Rose's ears must have burst an artery or something with how red they were going.

"Truth or dare?" Lily asked me lazily.

"Dare," I shrugged.

"I dare you to sit on Albus' lap, facing him and put a hand up his shirt. You have to stay that way until James comes back," Lily grinned evilly.

I shrugged and sat on Albus' lap. I think his wand was sticking into my leg after a few minutes but I paid it no attention as I put my hand up Albus' shirt. I gained a few cheers from everyone.

We could hear James coming back by now.

"Lily? Truth or dare?" Albus asked his sister.

"Truth," she shrugged.

"How did you know about James' plan to wreck your date?" Albus asked. He was going a little red and I swear his wand was a little too near the centre of his jeans.

"I didn't," Lily laughed. "You just told me. We had a plan just in case you tried to ruin things anyway. Make a date to Puddifoot's common knowledge and actually have the date in Silver Chalice."

Clever...

"Albus? Truth or dare?" Rose asked.

"Dare," he grinned, looking over my shoulder to see her.

"I dare you to snog Anya," she grinned.

Albus swallowed and leaned up, kissing me. Wow. He was doing this pretty well. My hand was still resting on his chest under his shirt and his wand was still poking into me. It seemed to get more but I'm sure that was just my awareness of it. His hands went to my arm and my chin as his tongue poked into my mouth. I'm not sure what drove me to kiss back but it was most definitely a snog that we did.

"What in the name of fucking Merlin's pants?" James asked as he came back to the compartment and we stopped the snog.

"Uh..." Albus said.

"I was dared to do it," I shrugged. I moved from Albus' lap and sat down. "We're playing truth or dare, remember?"

"R-right," James said. "Uh..."

-x-x-x-x-

**A/N:** Chapter two... Well, Definitely less funny. But hopefully, I gave you some indication about Anya's family. There were some important plot points here. Next chapter, Anya will be in sixth year.

Please leave a review. I'd love to know what you think. Suggestions are welcome. If I like it, I'll put it in somewhere. Any flamers will be reported... I think that's all I need to say.

Happy Christmas, everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

"MILA!" I screamed as I ran and threw my arms around her.

My best friend grinned at me and hugged me back. "Hey, Anya. Have a good summer?"

I pulled back and caught her trying not to cough at the scent I was buried in. "Sorry. Aphie and Mam sprayed me with so many perfumes that I'm now a death trap to any asthmatic. Anyhoo, I had an amazing summer, despite being around Mam a lot. Aphie took me to so many parties and stuff. Oh, and I need to tell you something when we get back to school."

Summer was a catalyst of change, I found as I looked around. Rose was holding Scorpius' hand. I caught her eye and waved. She gestured we joined her on the train. She looked happy. Good for her. Scorpius had a big smile on his face. I looked to Mr Weasley and found he was both grumpy but happy. An unusual facial expression. Mr Malfoy looked a little saddened but waved back all the same. Both mothers were chatting and waving enthusiastically.

I found James was Head Boy. He and his siblings waved as they boarded the train. Mila and I waved to our parents without looking back (Mam and Royce had come this year to see Aphie off so I didn't mind this fact). I kept my eyes on the Potters. Lily had a new hairstyle. It was shorter and suited her well. Albus had changed the most, I think. He was taller and his smile was crooked just a little bit. He smiled at me and I grinned back.

We got on the train and I was vaguely aware of my sister following us as we found the compartment. Rose was on Scorpius' lap. Lily had gone to find her own friends. James was sat beside Mila and Scorpius. Albus pulled me to sit beside him and I raised an eyebrow at my sister.

"What?" she asked quietly.

"You're actually quiet," I said. "That is weird. You spent all summer talking in Spanish to cute guys and you're actually quiet now..."

"Excuse me for being nervous, Anya," scowled Aphie.

I looked at Albus who shrugged.

The change I found the most shocking this summer was the fact that I had been made-over by Aphie's stylist after a shoot and now I resembled my sister. My pale, British legs had tanned from wearing shorts so much. In fact, I had a natural tan all over my body. The stylist had transfigured the majority of my clothes into more... fashionable things. My swimming costume had been changed into a bikini at first but I demanded a little more fabric. I got my wish. The bikini bottoms had been changed into shorts. I was fine with this. My hair had curled a little in the Spanish heat and it had gone a little brighter with my blonde.

Here I was, amongst my friends, dressed in a pair of denim shorts, a white t-shirt with a black waistcoat unbuttoned over it and a pair of black converse trainers.

"So... How was Spain?" Rose asked me after I was quiet.

"Quiero leche!" I cried. "I spent so long without freaking milk that I nearly died. I thought I had once but it just turned out to be noon and I'd slept in too long."

The faces in the compartment looked confused.

"It gets so hot in Spain that they nap at noon," Aphie joined in. "Shops are shut, streets are empty. It was hilarious watching her freak out."

"Yes. Hilarious watching me think I was stranded with the bodies of my mother and annoying sister," I said, rolling my eyes.

"In that case," smiled my sister and leaned in conspirationally, "guess what Anya did this summer."

And began the irritation. I had to deal with Aphie all summer. There had been good points and bad points. I'd wanted to kill her and hug her at different points of the summer. Of course, I had forgotten that there was another reason that she could annoy me.

Everyone in the compartment looked expectant and I tried to make myself smaller. I knew it was pointless to try to stop my sister.

"She lost it," she giggled.

"Shut up, Aphrodite," I muttered, looking at my lap. There was a feeling that this would not go away for a while.

James looked horrified. "But she's like... five!"

"I'm sixteen and I'll be seventeen this December," I huffed.

"You're a child!" James argued

"Oh, shut up, James," Mila sighed. "Was that what you were going to tell me about?"

"Yeah," I sighed.

"Well, OK then," Mila said and looked to Aphie.

Albus had gone quiet and Rose was whispering with Scorpius.

"Right, so there was this dark haired bloke in Spain. Couldn't speak English, I think-" Aphie started.

"He spoke English fine," I huffed.

"Anyway, Mother caught them making out against a wall," giggled my sister. "She went mental with the guy. It was hilarious. Never laughed so much in all my sixteen years."

"She only caught us because you told her where I was," I scowled.

"Anyway, so she and this guy go missing for a few hours the next day. No one knew where they were- not even I- and then she shows up with a new outfit and with damp hair. Just had a shower," smirked my sister.

"I'm pretty sure they don't want to know this," I scowled.

"Au contraire, madame," James said. "It was just getting good."

I let out a stream of swear words and insults at James and my sister just then. Rose and Mila raised an eyebrow in a disgusted 'really?' way. Albus just raised his eyebrows and James looked impressed. Scorpius and Aphie were unfazed.

"She didn't sleep with him though, apparently," giggled my sister. "She assures me that they just-"

"SHUT UP, APHRODITE!" I screamed.

"They did everything but," she laughed and winked.

I could feel my eye twitching and my hands were itching.

"Anyway, Mother wouldn't let her out of her sight for a while until her guard went down. That's when Anya here met another tourist such as herself. His name was Aaron. A boy from the U. S of A, I think. Goes to Salem," smirked Aphie, unaware of how annoyed and angry I was becoming. "So, then, they slip away for a day to the beach or something."

"Oh. This is getting good," Mila said, grinning.

"I know, right," James said and smiled at Mila.

Sleeze.

Slut continued, "Annie shagged him. Multiple times."

That was it.

I stood up and slammed the door behind me. I stormed down the corridor. I wanted her to just piss off and go find some other friends and not to bloody take mine. I found myself a new compartment with no one in it. When had the train started to move? Must have been just after Aphie finished that story because the end of the platform had just gone by the window.

I watched the window and scowled when I heard the door open. Someone sat down beside me.

"You OK?" they asked and I turned to see Albus.

"No. Why would I be? That was meant to be only told to Mila and maybe even Rose if she was awake by the time I remembered to put down my precious milk and tell Mila in the first place," I sighed. "Speaking of Mila, why didn't she come after me."

"James got his wish and snogged the poor girl. They're busy eating each other's lips off," he said and physically shivered. "It was quite horrific to look back and see."

"I think he was trying to get back at you for the truth or dare snog," I said and laughed a little.

"I think you're right," Albus nodded.

I looked at Albus and sighed. Was it OK to be thinking about that snog right now? It was only a dare. It probably wouldn't have happened if we hadn't played the game. But it was good. Even with those guys in Spain, I hadn't experienced a kiss like that.

"Hey, you know what? I had a little summer romance myself," Albus said, closing the door with a flick of his wand.

"Oh?" I asked. What the hell was that feeling in my stomach?

"Yeah. It wasn't much," Albus shrugged. "I'm waiting for the right girl."

"I wish I did the same," I admitted. Albus looked a little surprised at me and I nodded. "Uh, I kinda didn't want to but one thing led to another and I couldn't really go back..."

"Wow..." Albus said and whistled a crash and burn.

"I know..."

"You going to go back to the compartment?" Albus asked.

"No. I want that bitch to stay away from me," I scowled.

-x-x-x-x-

I didn't have such luck. As soon as we got to Hogwarts, my sister was sorted alongside the first years. She was a Gryffindor. Damn. She was in my dorm. She came and sat beside Rose and Mila. I scowled most the time but Albus and James nudged me under the table and told me to smile. James just looked creepy with the facial signs telling me to smile. He raised an eyebrow and looked flirty. Albus just looked ordinary.

Albus stopped me in the common room as the others carried on. "Are you OK?"

"OK? OK? I haven't shared a bastard room with that fucking bitch since I was three," I scowled. "And she's stealing my best friends."

"She isn't stealing them. She's blending in," Albus corrected and I glared at him. "What? I have to deal with that when it comes to Lily sometimes. My friends will be around and suddenly pay my baby sister attention. Don't worry, Anya. I still like you. Mila likes you and as does Rose. They've known you longer."

"Thanks," I mumbled and hugged Albus briefly before going up to my dorm.

My usual bed had my sister's stuff on it and I was stuck on the bed closest to the door. I looked around as no one noticed I slipped in. Mila and Rose were talking to Aphie excitedly. Even the dorm mates I forgot existed were talking to Aphie. I felt a little relief. If she fell in with those two, I'd have Mila and Rose back. Right?

Unnoticed, I got into my bedclothes and pulled out my diary. I started to write in it and just as I finished signing my love at the bottom, I heard my name.

"Anya? You OK?" Mila asked.

"She has my usual bed," I frowned.

"Yeah but that hardly matters," Mila shrugged.

Yeah. Right. Sure.

"I guess," I said and settled down into the bed. "Night, Milly."

They talked for hours and hours, all five of them. I could tell none of them looked at me because they would have noticed my shoulders moving as I silently cried into my blanket.

When the talking finally stopped, I waited for what must have been another hour. I looked around the dorm and sneaked out through the door. I went down the tower steps. I curled up on the squashy settee in the middle of the Gryffindor common room and sighed.

"Rough night?" asked a voice and I looked up. I found a familiar face looking at me.

"James, why do they like Aphrodite more than me?" I asked.

"I don't know. Star-struck, maybe? Maybe even just... Well, she's seen the world. We don't get to travel much being in boarding school," James said, shrugging.

"They didn't notice I was crying," I said miserably.

James sighed and sat beside me. "It'll be OK, Anya. We're all still your friends. We just want your sister to feel welcome. We are Gryffindors, are we not?"

"Right..." I sighed.

"I have an idea. Why don't you try out for the Gryffies?" James suggested.

"How would that make them notice me again?" I asked.  
"Well, it'd be suicidal?" James suggested.

"Oh..." I said. "I didn't think of that."

Well... He had a point.

"By the way, Al, Scorp and I all agree that you came back with rather nice legs," James said and kissed my cheek. He stood up and smiled at me. "But if anyone tries to date you, I might have to murder them."

I gave a confused look.

"I still see you as a sister, Annie," James said and ruffled my hair before walking off. "Remember. Try outs for Quidditch are next week."

-x-x-x-x-

Mila didn't take Potions this year. She chose to take Muggle Studies. Not sure why she would want to but then... I didn't know why I wanted to take Potions. I was glad to find out that my sister only shared some classes with me.

I had done well in my OWLs and gained myself a decent amount of grades. I had an Outstanding in Defence Against the Dark Arts- which pleased my father and myself. Mother simply couldn't be bothered to stop talking about Aphie's sodding grades to care. I also had four Exceeds Expectations and two Acceptables. I was so proud of my results. I floo'd Dad straight away. Dad then told Uncle Harry and Uncle Harry offered to host a joint celebratory party for Albus and I.

I looked around Potions and sighed. I took a sip of milk and nodded when someone sat beside me, doomed to be my potions partner for the rest of the year and perhaps next year. I looked and raised my eyebrows.

"Hey, Albus," I said.

"Hi. You've got a drop of milk hanging on your chin," he said and gestured.

"Thanks," I said before proceeding to poke my tongue out and trying to lick it up.

Albus laughed. "Dad told me about your results. Your dad was beaming about it for ages."

"Better than what Mam did," I shrugged. "She tried to rub my sister's stupid two outstandings in my face. She did just about better than me in one freaking subject and suddenly the world revolves around her and her perfectly amazing figure."

"Green monster much?" Albus asked.

"I'm only jealous because she gets everything," I said and ran a hand through a lock of my caramel blonde hair.

"She does not," Albus said. "She doesn't have me."

"I guess..." I sighed. "I mean, she's only stolen my best friends and left me with no real back-up plan... Uh... Unless you want to be my new best friend, Al?"

I batted my eyelashes at him and smiled.

"Sure," he shrugged and I squealed, hugging him.

"Yay!" I grinned.

The lesson flew by and before I knew it, I was sat at lunch and talking to Albus again.

"You're trying out for Quidditch?" Mila asked as she, Rose and Aphie sat down beside me. "I thought you hated flying."

I frowned. "What gave you that idea?"

"You screamed during our first flying lesson," Rose reminded me.

"Oh. Well, I don't really remember why I was scared," I shrugged. "Besides, James asked me to try out."

The girls looked amongst themselves before shrugging.

"Mother sent me a letter at breakfast. She asked after how you are," Aphie informed me.

"Reply with chipper," I said and stood up. "Come on, Albus. We've got cheese to yell at before transfiguration."

"Right-oh," he said and waved goodbye to the girls. "See you girls later."

"Can't wait," Aphie giggled and winked at him. How vulgar. How ugh.

As soon as we were out of there, I pulled Albus to the side. "That was my sister flirting with you. Quite openly. Promise me that you won't let her sink her claws into you?" I asked him desperately.

"I promise. What's so bad about her though? Other than being a bitch who steals your mates, I mean," he asked.

"She's like a cross between a James and a hormonal Lily," I told him.

"Lily has hormones? I thought James made a rule against it," Albus said, joking.

"My point is that you're one of my only friends who aren't bloody fawning over her," I said. "Don't let her snatch you away..."

Albus nodded and hugged me. "I promise. I promise..."

I smiled and jumped away from him. "Now... Transfiguration awaits!"

Albus laughed.

-x-x-x-x-

Time passed quickly. Before I knew it, it was try-outs. Mila, Aphie and Rose were in the stands, cheering for me. Albus was trying out this year to keep an eye on me.

The crowd of us try-outers were buzzing in conversation when James blew a whistle and gained our attention.

"Right. So, welcome to try-outs for the Gryffies!" James announced and all but Al and I went crazy.

"Inspiring speech, inspiring speech, inspiring speech," James said, flicking through pages on a clipboard.

He started us off with basic tests, asking all of us to divide into groups of ten and fly around the pitch. It was a good thing. It ruled out the inexperienced first years. Giggly girls had to leave the pitch in a fit of laughter. My own ten were fine. I noticed James watching me. He winked and smiled at me, filling me with confidence. Albus' ten did well.

About a zillion complaints, nine crashes and sending three off to the hospital wing, we were whittled down to a small group of people who waited with bated breath to find out if we'd made it.

He tried the chasers first.

"Right," James said and read off his clipboard. "Chasers: Gretchen Manderville, Chloe Charlton and myself."

The two girls who were chasers grinned at each other. All others who had tried out for chasers sighed and left, complained or pointed out nonexistant flaws rudely. Sore losers... Next, Albus and I were trying out for beaters.

We flew around for a few laps before James released the krackens... Er, bludgers. We each had a go at whacking them at floating targets... Uh, fruit. We shot bludgers towards floating fruit targets. I think one was labled 'Lily's male companion' which had his sister (who was in the stands, having her hair braided by Mila) growling, I bet.

By the end, Albus and I were smiling nervously at each other and pointing our own flaws out. Then James called attention.

"ATTEN-SHUN!" he called out. "Our beaters: Albus Potter and..."

"Why does he have to pause?" I asked Albus who was beaming.

"Anya Fallon," James said. "If anyone has a problem, they can bugger off before I bat-bogey you. Remember my mother is Ginny Potter. She taught me well."

The chasers ran off without a word as I stood there, shocked.

"Me?" I asked as James approached.

"You and Albus did best," James grinned. "I'm glad I asked you to try out."

"Hey, this time, you didn't scream," Albus said and patted my arm.

"Oh be quiet," I said and poked my tongue out at him.

We watched from the stands as James began selecting the keepers and seekers. He had the new chasers shoot goals. None of the first four applicants saved more than two or three. Then came the other three. One of them caught four. The next caught four. The fifth caught all five.

James looked pleased. Especially because one of the ones who caught four was his own sister and the one who caught five was his cousin.

"Keeper: Louis Weasley," James called out.

The part-veela grinned at his cousin before joining Al and I in the stands. The keepers joined us once more and we got to watch the seeker try outs. This was done oddly. James had devised a way to get a decent seeker last year. What he did was enchant a bunch of walnuts to fly about the pitch. The objective for hopeful seekers would be to avoid the walnuts and find the snitch.

There were several applicants. The first one ran out of time and flew too slow anyway. The second found the snitch but, when trying to dive and catch the thing, hospitalized himself. The third gave up. The fourth caught the snitch and had a dozen bruises from the walnuts. The fifth caught the snitch but crashed into one of the stands. The sixth caught the snitch, as did the seventh, without problem. The difference: the sixth located and caught the snitch quickest out of all who caught the small, winged ball.

"Seeker: Jason Coleman," grinned James. "Right. Congratulations all who made the team. We'll meet for our first practise soon enough. For now, goodbye."

And with that, James sauntered off as if nothing had happened. Typical James.

Albus and I chatted as we left the pitch. Before we got too far, we were bombarded with hugs and squeals. Louis, who had been just behind was smiling at me. He had the wind through his hair and wow... The way the light bounced around him...

"Hey," he smiled. "Nice job out there, newbie."

"She didn't scream this time," Mila said and handed me a carton of milk.

I was too busy guzzling the milk to reply.

Louis smiled at me again and turned to Rose and Albus.

My sister approached. "I didn't know you flew so well..."

"I used to practice at Dad's house," I shrugged and shook the milk a little. "Perfect way to annoy the nanny."

"You have a nanny?" Mila asked.

"Had. She quit after she deemed me too old to have a nanny. It was a shame to see her go," I shrugged. "I was like... This was two years ago. In truth, her role was only to make sure I didn't accidentally kill someone or myself or something."

"Oh..." Mila said. "Well, well done on making the team, Anya. We're proud of you."

"Well, I'll tell Mother that you made the team. She'll be pleased," my sister smiled kindly.

"Why do you call her that?" I asked.

"Huh?" Aphie asked.

"Mother. Why do you call her that? It sounds so... formal," I said. "Like you barely know her and it's a title like Miss or Mrs or something like that."

My sister shrugged and looked away. I was about to say something when Louis pulled me aside.

"So," smiled the boy. "I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend."

I blinked. "Uh... Do you have the right sister?" I asked.

"You're in beater gear, not her," Louis pointed out.

"Uh... Sure," I said and smiled. "I'd love to."

"Great," Louis grinned. He started off to the castle. "See you later."

I stood there, smiling and waving as he left. Then I turned to the group and blinked again. Then I screamed happily and attacked Albus.

"Oh wow! Albus, did you see that? Did you see that?" I asked. "Louis asked me out! Oh wow!"

Mila looked confused when I pulled away from a not squealing Albus. Good.

"Congratulations," Rose shrugged.

Only my sister seemed truly excited for me as she took my arm and walked me toward the castle, chattering on about beauty products and what I should wear to impress Louis. I didn't really listen. He just asked me out and I was not really wearing my most attractive outfit. I wasn't exactly sweat free, either.

This was really sweet of her though. It was one of those few moments where I loved my sister unconditionally. She was trying to interact with me. She was proud to be my sister. She wasn't talking to anyone but me. She was my sister. She was my friend.

-x-x-x-x-

Albus seemed huffy sometimes when I spoke about Louis.

"What's up with you lately?" I asked him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean, you go into a mood whenever I mention your cousin," I frowned. "See you're doing it now!"

Albus' face darkened when I mentioned his cousin. At this moment, he lifted a hand up to his face and it became nuetral on command. "It's nothing. Just... don't let him walk all over you, OK? Louis is a decent bloke but he can be prick."

"ANYA KILORAN FALLON!" James yelled as he marched towards us.

The oddity of this was that Al and I were in Potions. The professor just rolled their eyes at James and let him continue.

"James Sirius Potter," I retaliated.

"What did I tell you in the common room?" James asked me.

"Uh... That my sister is not a devil?" I tried.

"No but it is good to see you're getting along with her lately," James said. "No. I said I'd have to murder anyone who tried to go out with you. Do you have any idea how bad it would be if I killed my cousin?"

"I didn't kill you for snogging Mila on the train. By the way, what happened with that?" I asked.

"We decided we weren't for each other. Don't get off topic," James scowled. "Look, can't you date someone else? Louis can be a right prick."

"Uh... It's just one trip to Hogsmeade. There may not even be a second one," I told James. This seemed to calm the boy.

"Fine. Fine," James said and sat with us. "So... What are you up to?"

"Potions class?" Albus tried, watching the professor with interest.

"Cool... I have a nap period which I decided to spend pestering our dearest Annie with," James grinned. "Which means, by default, you too. What are we talking about?"

"Oh, just how Albus pulls faces when it comes to mentioning Louis," I shrugged.

James seemed to find this amusing. "Really? I wonder why," he said.

"James," Albus said and glared at his brother. "Don't make it sound like you know something that you don't."

James merely smiled like a Cheshire cat.

-x-x-x-x-

Louis was a perfect gentleman the whole trip to town. He took me to the Three Broomsticks, Honeydukes (he insisted on buying me whatever I wanted- so a box of sugar quills and a few other things were taken back to Hogwarts with me that evening), Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and a few other places.

He gave me a rose and a teddy bear and at the end of the day, as the sun set, he took me back the the Gryffindor common room where he kissed me in front of everyone.

I got back up to my dorm room and sighed as I put everything down. I looked at Rose and Mila.

"That... Well... It was a little dull," I said.

"Dull?" Rose asked as my sister walked from the bathroom.

"Yeah," I sighed. "He took me around the shops and bought me a few things. Gave me a single rose and kissed me in the common room... But I don't think there was anything there between us..."

"Too bad," Aphie said, biting her lip.

"Uhuh..." I sighed.

"Maybe someone else was meant to be the one," Aphie said and sat beside me on my bed. She reached for my curls and began to braid them.

"Yeah... I have a feeling that he's right under my nose," I sighed.

"Maybe it's Albus," Aphie said and Mila gave a triumphant noise.

"Mila's been trying to convince me that Al likes me for a while now," I explained. "Look, it isn't him. I've been buddy-buddy with him for a while now because we both took auror classes. Not sure why I took auror classes but I did."

"Because Al took them," grinned Rose as she and Mila sat on my bed.

"I didn't even know what he was taking last year so I don't think so," I sighed. "Look. Albus is like my brother. He's too awesome for me, anyway."

"Wait... what was that?" Aphie asked.

"Uh..." I said and looked confused. "I said he was too awesome for me?"

"You do like him!" Aphie gasped. She let go of my braid and clapped her hands excitedly. "Oh yay! We need to get you two together."

"Hell no! Look, I am looking for love," I said. "But I'm looking for someone who will be interested. Albus isn't interested. He makes it clear. I'm not interested in him, either."

It didn't look like they believed me.

It wasn't made any better when I walked into breakfast to see Albus snogging some Ravenclaw girl. I blinked and walked over. I sat down beside him and cleared my throat.

"I think the ghosts are trying to curse you," I told them as Sir Nick went by, looking disgusted at the two.

The girls gave me looks that were obviously meant to be sympathetic. I just wrinkled my nose at them. Aphie gave me a thumbs up as Louis came by and sat beside me.

"Hey," he grinned and kissed my cheek.

"Oh, hey," I smiled. "Haven't seen you since Saturday. You OK?"

Louis looked surprised. "Wow. Uh, yeah. I'm good. Sorry, I was expecting you to grill me," he said. He laughed. "Instead, I get asked if I'm OK. It's a nice change."

I grinned. "Good," I smiled.

James sat down opposite us. "OK, Gryffies."

Oh crap. I'm a Gryffie. I didn't think about that when I tried out.

James continued. "We need to- ALBUS!"

Albus pulled away and looked at his brother. "Oh. Hi," he said. He looked at me and nearly jumped. "Anya! When did you get here?"

"I've been here a while," I frowned.

"OK. So, team meeting later on," James said. "In other news, I just shagged Aislyn Goulding in a broom cupboard."

With that, he left.

"Did we need to know that?" I asked Albus but he went back to his whore. I looked to Louis and gave a questioning look which was misinterpreted as 'kiss me?' apparently because Louis scooped me up and sat me on his knee, snogging me.

Oh wow... This was going to be hard...

"Who knew beaters were such whores," laughed a passing third year.

Whore? I am not a whore. Insane, yes. Whore, no. Gah! What do they know? I pulled away and smiled at Louis. I got off his knee and sat beside him as he put an arm around me. The whole time I was there, I chattered to Mila, to Louis, when I got the chance I spoke to Albus too, Rose and even Aphie.

But I got the feeling that Louis wasn't looking at me or even bothered by my being there most the time. I think he was looking at Aphie. Oddly, I was OK with that. Oh wait, I was completely fine with that. I didn't want to date him in the first place. Aphie could have him... as soon as I get his very strong arm from my shoulders. But then, if Albus had a person on his lap constantly, why couldn't I? (Not that I'd want Louis on my lap. No. I could sit on Louis'.)

I sighed and snuggled into Louis' side. I looked up to him. "Maybe we should get going?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he grinned and we left (not that Al noticed).

-x-x-x-x-

Louis began to be a bigger problem than he was worth. He kept being so damn romantic! Before our relationship even reached three weeks, I had already received dozens of chocolates, flowers and various other gifts. None of them were milk.

Albus was too busy with various whores to understand that his team mate wasn't in the mood to cooperate during potions and barely helped him during Quidditch. It was strange. It felt like I had lost him and didn't want to find him. I only spoke to him during team meetings, potions and various other classes.

It was near Christmas before he confronted me about it. A bunch of us were going to party in the Shrieking Shack. A bunch of us being the Gryffies and the other Quidditch teams plus a few friends. James had given us strict instructions to bring only two people. Since Louis and I were a couple (ew), that meant four between us. Mila, Rose, Aphie and some guy who kept flirting with all three of them.

I was in the common room, waiting for Louis and the girls when Albus appeared.

"Well, don't you look spiffing," I smiled, expecting him to shrug and walk on like usual. Instead, he stared at me. Or rather what I was wearing.

"Well, don't you look gorgeous. Look at you!" he said, his slightly crooked smile appearing on his face. He circled me and I rolled my eyes.

I was wearing what Aphie and Mila had demanded I wear. A black strapless dress. It was sparkly and had a bow on my left hip. It reached half way between my mid thighs and knees. I only liked it for once reason. When I twirled, the skirts flew around me. With these I wore a pair of black high heels and held a small clutch.

"How's Louis?" he asked when he came back to the front of me.

"Fine," I shrugged. "I think James is insane to have us go to this party when we have a match in two days. The first of the season and we're off to go get pissed."

"That's James for you," Albus shrugged. "He's going to make us pray to the gods of Quidditch."

"You mean S'eekah, Ch'asah, Be'ater and K'eepah?" I asked and Albus grinned.

"Anya," came a voice and I looked up to see Louis followed by the rest of the team.

I smiled and took his arm as we left. James had this map in his hands and had to direct us when to go, where to go, when to be quiet and when we should hold our breaths. He took us to the Shrieking Shack where the party was already underway. It was a huge party. It seems that anyone was allowed to turn up but James wanted us to limit it.

Louis kept with me, letting me lead the way. It was nice, not being dragged around the house. I began to drink and I did drink too much. I danced, I kissed Louis, I snogged him even more. I did things I never would have done if it wasn't for the alcohol.

I woke up in Louis' arms the next day and rubbed my eyes when I realised we were in the boys dorm. My head hurt and Louis' breathing was steady like his heartbeat which I felt on my back.

I closed my eyes and sighed. I shifted so I turned to face Louis and kissed his cheek then his lips gently.

He scrunched up his face and opened his eyes. He smiled at me and kissed my neck. "Good morning," he said.

"Hello," I whispered.

"I think we drank too much," he murmured against my skin.

"How can you tell? I mean, I have a splitting headache but still," I told him.

"I can see Albus and James over your shoulder glaring at me," Louis said and I went bright red.

I gathered as much of the blanket as I could and sat up. I looked over at the brothers who were both asleep. James was on the bed and Albus was asleep with a trail of vomit coming from his mouth.

I looked around and found my dress pretty easily. I also saw it was still dark out as I pulled my dress over my head. Louis threw me a jumper and went off to the bathroom. I went to wake up James but thought better of it. I instead woke up Albus, sitting him up and tapping his cheek.

He opened his eyes slowly and blinked. "Ann?" he asked. His hand went to his neck which he rubbed like it was sore. "Why are you here? In my jumper?"

I frowned and looked down. It was a blue jumper with a white "A" on it. It was a Weasley trademark. I looked up to Albus again. "I woke up here. Louis is in the bathroom. Are you OK?"

"I'm fine. I came in and you were... You were with Louis... In bed... Having-" Albus said but was interrupted by James waking up loudly.

James had groaned and rolled off the bed, making a thunk sound as he hit the floor. He then moaned again and sat up. He looked up and then saw the jumper.

"Are you cheating on Louis by fucking Albus?" he asked, his voice raw.

"No. Louis gave me this so I wouldn't be cold. He's in the bathroom," I shrugged.

"Oh yeah... You were with him when we got back," James said, stroking his chin. "I need to shave. I also need to get checked by a doctor."

"Why?" I asked and immediately regretted it.

"I swear this girl just wanted me to go faster and faster all the time. A guy can only screw so fast, you know!" James said.

"You're a tosspot," I said and got back on the bed. "Whose bed is this?"

"Uh... Mine," Albus said and went a little red.

"Right..." I said and stood back up. "I should get going."

Louis came out of the bathroom, looking just as good as usual. He kissed my cheek and put his arms around my waist. He kissed me again.

"I have to go," I whispered.

"OK," he smiled and kissed me again. "I'll see you later. I love you."

"OK," I said and left.

I love you? He loves me? Oh! Freddie Mercury's extra teeth!


	4. Chapter 4

Christmas was awkward. I had to spend half my day with my dad and then I went to see Louis. I didn't mind one half of the day. No prizes for guessing which half. (It was the time I spent with my father.)

I woke up on Christmas morning to find my dad bringing me breakfast in bed. He had done this when I was younger plenty of times. I smiled as he placed the tray on my lap and kissed my forehead.

"Good morning, Annie," Dad greeted and sat on the corner of my bed. "Nadoleg Llawen."

"Nadoleg Llawen, Dad," I smiled and hugged him.

Nadoleg Llawen is Welsh for Happy Christmas. See, I'm Welsh. I live in beautiful and rainy Wales.

"Santa brought presents," Dad joked and held up a stocking full of presents.

"Dad, I'm too old to believe in nonsensical things like Santa," I said but kissed his cheek and took the stocking. "Thank you."

Dad left me for a little bit to enjoy my breakfast and my stocking. I had a snitch to mess around with alongside a few other things. It was the snitch I enjoyed the most... Until I joined Dad downstairs and found a baby pygmypuff. I think I squealed so loudly that the Queen of England could hear me.

"I shall name him Pepsi and he shall be mine," I said as I played with Pepsi the Pygmypuff.

Dad didn't stop laughing for at least two hours.

Louis came along an hour early and met Dad. He impressed him with a number of different things.

He called Dad "sir."

He impressed Dad with some French. (He said joyeux noel or something like that.)

He brought not just myself, but my father a present too.

For me, he gave me a card and then a necklace (ew ew ew). For Dad... Dad got a pocket watch. I have no idea why this impressed Dad. Personally, I was tempted to ask Dad to trade but the necklace wouldn't have suited Dad at all. It was made for people with the neckline for dresses.

Louis whisked me away from my Dad who quite happily waved goodbye as I looked back before Louis and I went to his house via Floo.

"Maman? Dad? We're here," he called and I was attacked by a blonde and a ginger pair of girls.

By this, I mean, Louis' sisters.

"She is pretty, isn't she," Victoire said as she started to randomly plait my hair.

"Last time I remember seeing her properly was last year and she looked like a little girl," Dominique told her sister.

"Uh..." I said and was saved by Fleur and Bill Weasley coming into the room. I waved shyly. "Hi."

"Hello, Anya," said Bill and shook my hand.

Fluer just hugged me. "Joyeux noel, Anya."

I was a little red by now and basically hid behind Louis.

"She's just in time. We can take her to the Burrow," Bill said.

So we did. Christmas was very jumpy. I spent a lot of time holding Louis' hand and him stealing kisses when he noticed no one looking. Or at the dinner table when I got a little of Mrs Molly Weasley's gravy on my face. In fact, all of his family saw that one. Not many of them cared and seemed to only chuckle at my bright red face.

After dinner, I was taken up to the top of the house where Louis, his siblings and his cousins were sitting in a circle.

"You're infamous for truth or dare," James said as I sat beside Louis.

"You mean you walked in on two combined dares between myself and Albus," I frowned.

"Huh?" one of the many Weasleys asked.

"Uh..." Albus said, going a little red.

"I dared her to sit on Al's lap and face him with her hand up his shirt," Lily giggled.

I nodded and Albus looked at his legs.

"I dared him to snog her," Rose said.

James looked gob smacked at the two girls. He composed himself. "Whatever. Look, as a Gryffie, you are obligated to play in the games we play when attending the same events."

"James, just because we won against Hufflepuff does not mean that I am a Gryffie twenty-four seven," I sighed.

"Shush!" James said and passed me a hat.

I looked at it. Inside were bits of ripped up pieces of paper. "Uh..."

"So we don't have to pick between truth or dare," Rose told me as Louis smiled encouragingly.

"It's your turn," Louis said.

So I put my hand in and brought out a piece of paper. I looked at it and paled.

"What?" James asked, looking expectantly.

"James, these dares..." I said and showed him.

"Yeah?" James asked. "So?"

"So? I could get killed doing that!" I said.

James exchanged a look with his cousins and siblings. Once again he shrugged.

I sighed and took Louis' hand and took him downstairs. The group followed and spied from various places.

I stood up in front of Louis' entire family and cleared my throat.

"Uh..." I said and looked at Louis. He raised his eyebrows. I sighed and looked down the entire time as I began to sing and do actions. "I'm a little tea pot, short and stout. Here is my... My..."

Louis looked a little worried. Ew.

"I can't," I said and dove for the fireplace, flooing out as fast as I could.

Here's the thing. I didn't say Cardiff correctly. See, if I had gone to Cardiff, I could have taken a short walk to visit Eleri and then floo to Dad's again. Didn't happen. Why? Because when I said Cardiff, I said it in Welsh. Caerdydd. I had been speaking English for the past few hours before hand, I had actually said it in half Welsh and half English. Caerdiff. Who knew this was an actual place?

I landed in a closed shop. It was Christmas, after all. I looked around. I had no idea what shop I was in. I could barely see. Looking around, it smelled like bath bombs and things. An apothecary? Possibly. I hoped I wouldn't bump into something I was unknowingly allergic to. Or something that bites. Or burns. Or freezes. Damn, these places are dangerous!

I turned to look for more floo powder when the flames appeared again and Albus fell out. Surprised, I helped him up.

"Hey," he greeted, out of breath. "Are you OK?"

"I... I'm fine," I said and Albus hugged me. I pulled away. "I just... I said Cardiff wrong."

"I noticed. Louis is yelling at James. Didn't notice me repeat your floo escape," Al said.

"I've no idea where I am," I said miserably.

"Come on," Al said and cast lumos with his wand.

I had been right. I was in an apothecary. I inched towards Albus and brought my own wand out.

"Did I miss your seventeenth?" I asked.

"Kinda, yeah. But then, I kept it quiet," Albus said. "Mum and Dad didn't let me forget, James remembered a week too late and Lily had decided to just ignore it. She knows I don't particularly like my birthdays."

"Same here, sorta," I shrugged. "I'm not seventeen until January."

"I know," Al said and went to the door. He looked around the windows first before casting alohomora. He led me outside where we shivered. Looking up and down the street, Albus started to walk, taking me who knows where.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"There's a pub up there. If I can, I'll see if I can get us a room and then I'll try and get a message to Dad somehow," he told me.

We got to the pub and found that there was a room and thankfully this town was a wizarding one. There was floo powder on the mantle of a fireplace. Al knew I didn't want to go back there. So instead, he helped me get home to Dad's.

Dad seemed to understand when Al told him the story of how we had come to be in the house again and why he was there. Dad sent an owl to Albus' parents to tell them that Al was OK. In the mean time, he demanded we sit in the kitchen and our house elf bring us hot chocolate.

Al and I sat in awkward silence.

"James leaves this year," I said after a while, clutching a blanket around my shoulders.

"Yeah," Albus said, looking relieved.

"Al?"

"Yeah?"

"It wasn't just truth or dare, was it?" I asked.

Al sighed and shook his head. "They were testing if you were fit enough to be in our family."

"I would have thought Rose, Lily or even James would have known about my stage fright..." I said quietly.

"Yeah... Good thing you didn't faint or throw up or both instead," Albus said.

I threw my hands up over my eyes and groaned as Knacker the house elf brought us our hot chocolates. Hot chocolate with marshmallows, whipped cream, a wafer with another marshmallow on top that has been slightly roasted is the best. Knacker has a knack for making hot chocolate just right.

Albus seemed to really enjoy it. We kept talking and joking. He put a bit of cream on my nose and I laughed a little when I reached for it with my tongue, licking it off. We were done with our hot chocolate when I asked him a serious question. (It was a very serious question, indeed.)

"Why don't we talk or do things like this anymore?" I asked him, not expecting much.

"I don't know," he said after some thought. "I think when you started dating Louis, I started to drift."

"I kinda want to dump him," I admitted.

"Why?" he asked.

"Well... Al, he's suffocating me in boring! I mean, I'm not as random anymore! Where is my random! He's boring!" I declared. "It's contagious apparently! I mean, look at Lucy!"

"Lucy isn't boring. She's a slut," Albus shrugged. "She's cool though."

"Uhuh. Maybe I meant her sister, Molly, then," I shrugged.

"Molly is definitely boring," Albus smirked. "But I think you're right! It is boring. Oh the horror of having a relationship!"

I knew he was being sarcastic and I reached for a cushion.

"How terrible for to be able to snog a guy and how horrifying that you've shagged him," Albus said and I whacked him with my pillow. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"What?" I asked, poking my tongue out at him.

He was silent for a second before grabbing another cushion and hitting me on the stomach. I raised my eyebrow. He narrowed his eyes and then I hit him across the face. We were off, jumping on the furniture and hitting each other with pillows. He jumped down and hit me. I lost my footing and fell onto him, knocking him to the ground. His arms had wrapped around me to stop me from causing any damage to myself.

He stared at me for a moment and I hit him with a pillow, getting up. We played tug of war with another pillow.

"Mine," I said.

"I don't see your name on it," Al joked.

"Sod off," I said, rolling my eyes. I sat down to take the advantage of height.

He got to his knees and pulled still. I pulled hard enough that he fell forward and onto me. I stared up at him and he down at me. He was so close. His lips were gently touching mine in an almost kiss.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit. MERDE. Deer lawd of dairy!

I was scared he'd move. Was that his wand again? Twp! That isn't his wand! That is... That is something else. He got up and pulled me up, looking a little red. We sat down in silence, our laughter finished. He left not long after that.

I was alone. Alone with a rather red blush on my face once I realised it wasn't his wand on the train last year that had poked me.

-x-x-x-x-

The first day back, I avoided the Weasleys and Potters as much as I could. But then it came to the first Quidditch practice and James kept suggesting I sing for everyone. I nearly kicked him in a place he wouldn't like to be kicked. Ever. But I was stopped by Albus dragging me up into the air to practice.

We barely spoke and I still avoided Louis. I stayed as far away as I could from Louis. James became a little professional when I needed help with my aim. He finished by calling me teapot. Tosser.

After practice, I managed to get something to eat before too many Potters and Weasleys came by. Unfortunately, as I slipped out, I forgot my bag. I went back for it and exited again. I bumped into Louis. Just great. Awesome. Merde. Fuck. Crap. Cachau bent! (I'd rather not translate this Welsh.)

"Hi," he said, his eyes resting on me. Not on my face. But below my chin at my chest. Bastard.

"Bye," I said and tried to push past him.

He caught my wrist. "Look, I'm sorry."

"Yeah?" I asked, yanking my arm away. "I'm sorry I went out with you."

I walked off and ran up the grand staircase.

I didn't even move when Rose yelled at me in the common room. Or when Lily gave me a glare. It seems instead of saying it at a regular volume, the entire great hall had over heard what I had said to Louis because I yelled at him. Albus and James seemed fine with it. It was the Weasley (plus Potter) girls who hated me for it. Dominique spread a rumour that I was cheating on Louis when I was with him. It was mostly dismissed. In my head, it was almost true. I did nearly kiss Albus.

I barely spoke to Albus and James outside of Quidditch and I didn't even talk to Rose any more. I couldn't. She wouldn't let me. Mila and I stuck together in the common room and at dinner. Aphie was of no help or use as she had begun to hang out with Rose.

Weeks passed and I found myself just waiting for the end of the school term. My grades were now an average E. I didn't get any Outstandings this year. I only really focused on Quidditch. We had one against all of them. Ravenclaw had been easy. Slytherin had been the challenge. I got sent to the hospital wing just after the game ended. One of the Slytherin bludgers sent one at the back of my head.

I woke up alone in the hospital wing. No one visited.

-x-x-x-x

Things got better in the final few weeks of school. Albus came and sat next to me in the common room. Mila had a detention to attend to so I had been by myself all night. I was reading a book when he sat beside me.

"Hey. What are you reading?" Albus asked.

"Where's My Cow by... You're talking to me, right?" I asked.

"Yes," Albus said. He looked at the book. "Isn't that a children's novel?"

"And?" I asked, reaching for my glass of milk which was on the table beside the settee I sat on.

"Jolly good," Albus said, feigning a posh accent.

"Yes, good show, old bean," I said, a grin slipping on my face.

"That's our Anya," grinned James as he flopped beside Albus. "How do you do it, Al? Make people smile just like that."

"It's a knack," Albus said.

My smile was wiped away when Lily, Rose and Aphie sat on the rug before us.

"Louis was cheating on you," Rose said. "He kissed Aphie."

"More than once," Aphie said.

"I don't mind," I said, going back to my book.

"You aren't hurt at all?" Aphie asked.

"I didn't want to go out with him in the first place. Ask Al. I told him when he came after me on Christmas that he was boring me to... to boredom," I shrugged.

The Potters and Weasley (plus my sister) were silent. Silent as the grave. Silent as Godric Gryffindor. (If I have my facts right, anyhow.) Silent people were silent.

"He was a terrible boyfriend for not coming for you," Albus said.

James nodded. "Yeah! Where's his man balls?"

"On his forehead below the dick," Lily said in a sing-song voice.

"Some Weasley," Rose huffed.

I nodded and closed my book. "So... I can talk to you again?" I asked Rose. "I can hang out with the rest of you again?"

"You always could," James frowned.

"I ignored her for a bit," Rose filled in.

"A bit?!" Aphie and I cried out.

"Twins, twins, twins," Albus said, making a lowering motion with his hands so Aphie and I backed down. "It was longer than a bit, Rose. It was from January til just now. This is June."

"You missed my seventeenth," I said to Albus. "I think we're even."

It was true. Whilst Aphie sashayed around, receiving birthday wishes from everyone and anyone, I made do with the ones from Mila and Aphie herself. It wasn't exactly a stellar birthday.

"Yeah," Albus said, looking like he was lost in thought.

"I have an idea..." Aphie said and took me by the wrist (I protested because my book landed on the floor and Rose had picked it up which meant I wouldn't see it until Rose was finished with it).

-x-x-x-x-

It was dinner on Saturday. I could see them all from the doors. A lot of people. Not one of them paid me any attention. That was good, I guess. I walked in with Aphie and we sat on the Gryffindor table. Not at. On. James and Albus were surprised by this.

A few people pointed at us and I began to shake.

"You'll be fine," Aphie whispered and lazily flicked her wand into the air. Music began and I scrunched my face up until I found myself stood on top of the table. I held my wand like a muggle microphone and cast sonorus.

"I'm a little teapot, short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my spout!" I said, doing the actions. "When it's time for tea, hear me shout! Just pick me up and pour me out!"

The hall was silent.

"Another?" a Ravenclaw called out.

I smiled. "Now, Princess Pat! She lived in a tree! She sailed across the seven seas! She sailed across the channel two! And she took with her! A ricky-dan-do! A ricky-dan-do? Now what is that? It's a something made by the Princess Pat. It's red and gold and purple too. That's why it's called a ricky-dan-do!

"Now, Captain Jack! Had a very fine crew! He sailed across the channel two! He sailed across the ocean blue! And he took with him! A ricky-dan-do! A ricky-dan-do? Now what is that? It's a something made by the Princess Pat. It's red and gold and purple too. That's why it's called a ricky-dan-do!"

On my final note, I left them and Aphie followed me, beaming.

"Why did I do that?" I asked as we climbed the staircase.

"Because you were proving you were better than him. Plus, you got over your stage fright," Aphie claimed.

"You put a spell on me," I frowned.

"Actually, I didn't," Aphie chimed.

"WHAT!?"

-x-x-x-x-

James and Albus refused to put me down.

"But I want it!" I screamed, reaching for the bottle of milk.

"Jeez! She's strong," James said. "She'll definitely make beater next year."

"I won't try out if you don't let me have milk," I said, reaching forward.

"Come on," Al said. "You can have your milk in a moment."

"Fine," I said, seemingly giving up. The boys put me down... then I slapped Albus across the face. "Milk is important, yo!"

"Just come with us," Al said and took me by the wrist, running off without letting me know where we were going. He ran me out of the common room and down the staircase, James following me. They took me down to the kitchens where I was virtually thrown into a cake.

"Happy Missed Birthday," said Al and James together.

I looked at them, confused.

"We missed your birthday so... we asked the elves to make you a cake. Chocolate fudge cake. With cream. Which is made from-" Al explained.

"DAIRY!" I declared. I took a piece and almost moaned when I tasted the warm fudge. James and Albus smiled at me as they ate their pieces. "So what do you want?"

"Well... When Al's birthday rolls around, I want you to do one thing for me," James said. "Well, for him really but still."

"That would be...?" I asked, eating a piece of cake.

"Do what he says for an entire day," James says and Albus looked confused.

I on the other hand shrugged. "Feed me more cake and sure."

"Done," James said and more cake was brought to me.

Wait... What had I just gotten myself into?!

-x-x-x-x-

**A/N:** So... This chapter is more of a filler... I wrote it though! I promise I'll write more! See! I know this one is short but I'll make it up. My usual goal for a chapter here is six thousand. I usually break that a little. This is three thousand something. I'll try to write a nine thousand word chapter soon. Seventh year next chappy. I'll get some Albus/Anya in next chapter.

Princess Pat was learned at a Girl Guiding event I attended.


	5. Chapter 5

I waved at my three parents. I had been in Wales all summer. I love my country. I love my Dad. But I got bored fairly easily. Sometimes, Al and James came over. Sometimes, they'd whisk me away to parties. I didn't mind- heck, I looked forward to them.

I sat on the Hogwarts Express and waited for the train to start chugging away. Aphie had gone to a different compartment with Rose. I heard the door roll open and someone sat beside me, putting an arm around my neck. Then Albus pulled me closer to him. Oh. He was hugging me. OK.

I hugged him back as he announced. "Seventh year!"

"Seventh year," I nodded.

He released me. "My mother was crying."

"I can imagine. She was a wreck last year with James, wasn't she?" I asked.

"Yeah. Your mother looks like she's part Smiling Banshee," Albus said, looking out of the window and seeing my parents. "Royce looks like he wants to get on the train and your dad... Ah, he looks like my dad. Like he won't cry until he gets home."

"Yup," I nodded.

"I brought you a present," Albus said and dug into his backpack to find a carton of green top milk.

"Albus Severus Potter, I adore you!" I said and took the bottle, opening then chugging. It was gone before you could say phantasmagoria.

"Wow... I love you too, you crazy person," Albus said and messed my hair up.

I yelped and went to fix it.

"Since when do you care about your hair?" Albus asked.

"Blame Aphie. She can be a pain in the caboose but she's bloody catching," I said. "If it weren't for her, my hair would look like it did in fourth year. Outgrown and unattractive."

"Ah," Albus said. "So... You're looking for love this year?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Same here," Albus grinned.

I nodded and looked at the window just as the train began to move. I opened the window and waved at Dad- and Eleri and Royce.

-x-x-x-x-

Aphie began to annoy me as soon as I stepped off the train.

"Oh em gee! What happened to your hair?" Aphie asked and tried to fix it.

I flailed. "Get away, woman!"

"Just let me fix it!" Aphie whined.

"I'm fine with it!" I hissed.

"You two are the weirdest twins ever," Albus said and pulled me onto a carriage with him and Rose.

"You're the weirdest twins ever!" I shot back.

"Rose and I are cousins, not twins, and we aren't fighting over how one of our hair looks," Albus said.

Aphie sat beside Rose and the two began chatting.

"I forgot to ask," I said to Albus. "When is your birthday?"

"November sixth," he shrugged.

"Gotcha," I nodded.

The ride to the castle was bumpy but we didn't mind nor did we care. The castle was... very castle-y when we got back. Same as it ever was. It was untouched by touchy things. Uhuh. Yup.

We got inside.

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" I asked Albus as we walked into the great hall.

"Seven pieces of wood," Albus replied as we sat down. "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers?"

"Betty bought a bitter butter, a bitter butter Better bought," I said.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are experiencing a tongue twister take-down!

"She bought sea shells on the sea shore," Albus said, narrowing his eyes.

"Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry," I said quickly and smirked.

"Now- KISS!" said Lily rather loudly.

I realised we had gotten closer with each word of our tongue twisters.

"I can't think of anymore," Albus said as we back up.

"I win," I said and clasp my hands together, shaking them at my sides and making a noise reminiscent of a crowd at a Quidditch match.

"Yeah," Albus grinned.

We sat through the sorting and the speeches and FINALLY got to eat. I swear, Albus and I then had a contest to find out who could eat the fastest. And the most.

"Damn," said Mila as she joined us.

"'I er ou ake?" I asked, a mouth full of chicken. I swallowed- hard- before repeating so she could understand. "Why were you late?"

"Portkey went off too early before I could get back to England. America was fun. Wish you were there," Mila said. She reached forward and began to eat.

"Hi, Mila!" Albus greeted and stuffed his mouth with some pork.

"Why are you two eating like that?" Mila asked, wrinkling her nose.

"Because...BUDDA!" I said, practically screaming.

"To Utta!" Albus said.

"Pablo Naruta, too!" I screamed.

"To sodomy!" Albus said, standing up and putting a foot on his chair, looking pleased with himself.

"It's between God and me!" I said.

"Enough," Rose said and pulled Albus down. "The teachers are looking at you."

"They have eyes?" I asked Rose.

"Yes."

"Then they've always been able to see us," I shrugged and started on a Yorkshire pudding.

When it was time for bed, Mila and I went ahead of everyone else and I dressed for bed.

"So... You and Albus?" Mila asked.

"Yeah, uh, we're just friends, Mila," I shrugged.

"I know. I was just... You two looked like something more," Mila said and I looked confused at her. "You were just laughing and joking so much... Did you keep up with the Daily Prophet or Witch Weekly?"

"Witch Weekly wants to interview me," I frowned.

"Really?" Mila asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because Aphie mentioned me in a previous interview," I sighed. "She told them about the singing thing last year."

"Wow... By the way, I never saw the veela kids look more shocked. Well done," Mila nodded.

"Why thank you," I nodded. I flopped onto my bed. "Gah. I'm exhausted and full of food... Do you think they do this on purpose?"

"What on purpose?" Mila asked as she brushed her hair.

"Put on a feast to make us eat into exhaustion and tiredness," I said.

"Yeah," Mila nodded as she began to braid her hair.

"Good night, Milly," I yawned and fell backwards.

"G'night, Annie," Mila replied.

-x-x-x-x-

"You're dropping into your cereal," Albus said at breakfast a week into term.

"Uhuh?" I asked. I had my spoon in one hand and an essay in the other.

"You're exhausted already?" Rose asked, taking my essay and looking at it. She took out her quill and started to write on it.

I fell into my cereal and would have (liked to have) drowned in the milk but Al pulled me out of it. "It's Saturday, Ann. Come on."

"I'm just so tired," I yawned. I closed my eyes and my head fell onto the table with a thunk. I shot back upright. "Ow."

"Your head sounds hollow," Aphie said as she sipped her orange juice.

"Shut up, Barbie," I growled.

"Better to look like Barbie than skrewt dung," Aphie shot back.

"Fuck up or fuck off," I said and tipped her plate up so her toast fell on her lap.

Aphie shrieked and then glared at me. "That was Arturo Magique! You'll pay for this, Anya Kiloran Fallon!"

"You're going to continue to pay until you get lost," I scowled.

"Such cheerful twins," Albus said and stood up. He yanked me to go with him. I waved over my shoulder as we walked off. "You need to get along."

"Why? She's a bitch," I frowned as we walked out into the stone courtyard.

"You can be too, when you want," Albus pointed out.

"We had a good teacher. Her name is Eleri," I said, a finger in the air as if this was a fact.

"Don't blame your mother," Albus sighed. Why was he still walking?

I followed him. "Then who?"

"Blame yourselves," he said. He stopped short.

Ahead of us, a bunch of girls were looking at us. Watching us. Staring.

"Is she dating Albus?" one muttered.

"We gotta take him back," another one said.

"Oi, Fallon! He belongs to us," called out another and I yelped as Albus pulled me by the collar and taking me back inside. He pulled me up the staircase and up into the Gryffindor common room. The mob were let in by fellow Gryffindors (traitors). He shook them by taking me into the boys tower and getting so far ahead that they wouldn't be able to tell that he went into the seventh year dorm and then the bathroom.

Gasping for breath, he looked up at me. "I think... they have the... wrong idea."

"No shit, Sherlock," I said and rolled my eyes. "How do you know they won't check in here?"

"Who in the right mind would want to come into a boy's dorm bathroom if they themselves were not a guy?" Albus asked.

"Uh..."

"Exactly."

"Smart, Potter," I grinned.

"Thanks, Fallon," Albus nodded.

I then noticed it. "When did you get glasses?"

"I don't need to wear them often. James was the one who had to wear them all the time," Albus said. "I had a headache this morning. You aren't the only one suffering fatigue."

"Poor you," I mumbled and sighed, leaning against the door.

Albus scooted over to me. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"This is possibly the weirdest situation I've been in with a girl," he said, looking at me and moving my hair behind my ear.

"What?" I asked, looking up at him. "Being stuck in a bathroom for... for..."

I stopped and noticed he was getting closer. Or was I moving toward him?

"I really need some milk," I whispered.

"I'll give you all the milk you want..." Albus said and finally our lips met.

I didn't stop him but then I did sort of encouraging it. Especially when his hand trails down behind my neck and pulls me closer. I reached up and took his collar.

His lips moved over mine as if he'd been waiting for this for a good while now. He kissed me hungrily, numbing all the feeling but that of his touch. I barely notice when he moves me to sit on his lap. I curl a leg underneath me and the other reaches across him and lies on the floor like a limb of a rag doll. His hand moves up my spine, feeling each bone.

My God, he knew how to kiss. He knew where to move his hands. He knew how to do it. Whatever it was. When I tried to draw back out, he growled and pulled me closer and growled, "Shut up, Anya."

I didn't say anything!

Why did he have to be a good kisser? I ran my fingers through his hair. He let his trace the outline of my shirt before nipping under and making me shudder at how cold they are. His hand pressed against the small of my back and I found that it was very hard not to moan. So I did it anyway.

Then the door opened.

-x-x-x-x-

"You two..." Mila was laughing when I finished writing my Dairy Diary entry of the day and told her. "Were caught... by a professor?"

"Shut up. Getting caught by Professor Mercury was just... Embarrassing," I said and threw my pillow at her.

"I'll say," Mila giggled.

"I got a date!" Aphie sang as she came in. "I've got a date! A date!"

"Uhuh?" I asked. "Who with?"

"You'll see next weekend. After Quidditch try outs, of course." Aphie said and grinned. She then rushed to her bed and flopped on it.

I rolled my eyes at Mila before sitting on my bed and yawning.

"I still can't believe it," Mila said, chuckling as she got into bed. "I mean, I knew I was right and he did like you."

Her words echoed in my head. Before I knew it, Mila was asleep, Rose was on her bed, dropping off as she studied and Aphie snoring away. I stood up slowly, careful not to wake Rose and left the dorm. I bolted down the stairs and out of the tower, right into a familiar head of black hair.

"Hi," Albus said and pulled me up.

"Hi... Sorry," I said. "Uh, I need to talk to you."

"You do?" Albus asked. He gestured I go ahead of him. "Louis is out with some bint. You'll be fine."

"Thanks," I said and climbed up the boys staircase until I reached the seventh year dorm.

Albus closed all of the curtains on his dorm-mate's beds before casting a charm on each. I then sat on his and pulled my knees under my chin. Albus drew the curtains on his bed and sat inside with me. He cast the charm again.

"So... You wanted to talk?" he asked, sitting my his pillows.

"Do you like me?" I asked.

"Of course," Albus said, blinking as if this was obvious. "You're a good friend."

"No. No, Albus, do you _like_ like me?" I asked him, my lip quivering as I looked away.

Albus was quiet. I glanced up to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep on me. He had not. He just... stared at me.

"I... I don't know," Albus said.

"Look, if you're trying to be like James and mess with girls' feelings, do it with someone else!" I said, getting angry.

"I-I-I'm not!" Albus protested.

"Then what? You don't just dish out a kiss like that and say you'd give me all the milk I wanted without liking me in that way somehow!" I said, throwing my arms into the air.

"Anya," Albus sighed.

"Albus," I mimicked.

"I don't know how I feel," Albus said.

That was all he had to say before tears sprang to my eyes and I began to cry. I turned my face away, feeling like an idiot. I sniffed. "He realised that her enemies were not in the world out there, but in her mind. That made them no less real, no less frightening and dangerous, it just meant he had to protect her even more carefully. Philip Pullman."

I got up and darted from his dorm, running out of the Gryffindor tower and trying to find a safe haven which, in my head, meant I was going to the kitchen for some milk.

-x-x-x-x-

The next morning, I was woken up by an elf who had the decency to get me a fresh uniform (washed and everything. Thanks, house elf!) and my school supplies for the day. Finding that alone odd, I then realised I had fallen asleep in the kitchen. The elves provided me a makeshift changing screen thingie by using pots and pans and various other things around the large kitchen. I looked up at the window. It was still dark out.

"Thank you," I whispered as another elf brought me a plate of toast.

Mila pulled me aside as soon as soon as I got out of the kitchens.

"OK. So... Why are you out here?" I asked her, drinking some milk.

"Where have you been?"

"I... Mila, I don't want to talk about it here," I said.

"Are you sure?" Mila asked.

"Definitely," I said and checked my watch. "We should get going. I've got potions first."

"Muggle studies," Mila said and she started up the grand staircase as I started for the dungeons.

I got there before Albus and made sure I stayed as far away from his part of the desk as possible. I didn't look up once he arrived, either. I decided that I was in a metaphorical cake shop and it was all sold out of Albus sponge cake. Honestly, I think I would have been this mad last year before the whole Louis fandango.

Albus didn't try to talk to me the entire potions lesson. Bugger. I felt like ranting and possibly making him feel bad for making me feel bad. Heck, I'm willing to stoop as low as to wreck his reputation by going to the press! I am a girl and I will get reven-

"I'm sorry," Albus said as the lesson ended and I started on my merry way to Transfiguration. "If I hurt your feelings, I mean."

"Yes, of course you are," I snapped. I was tres sarcastic. (I have no idea what I'm saying in French!) "You would be sorry that you sent me to the cake shop of aggers."

I huffed off and ignored all of his attempts during transfiguration to talk to me. And all of them during break. I managed to lose him during my free period. All day, I avoided him. I couldn't help it in Defence Against the Dark Arts, though. I was paired with him to duel as an example. Stunners, counters and defensive spells only.

I faced him in the middle of the room, the girls one side and the boys on the other. We met in the middle.

"Potter," I growled, glaring a little past my wand.

Albus looked a little scared. I don't blame him. Weasley women are dangerous when angered and Albus must have been brought up to recognise an angry woman. He said my surname and we shook hands before pacing to our starting positions.

He stood there, a few feet away with tight lips and a pensive look. His stance isn't right. Why does he look so calm now? Ah, he's part Weasley. He stood with his wand outstretched and pointed at me. _He's also a Potter_, I reminded myself.

He shot a stunner which barely missed me. I flinched and he smirked. I shot another back at him and he blocked with a shield. He was being aggressive with me. (Oo-er! That sounded really wrong.) He fires a few more stunners and I block then counter. He shot another at me and it knocked me back, flipping me over. I sit up and hit the ground with my hand before getting up. I clutched my side as I sent a hex his way. He looked worried for a moment before my stunner got him directly in the chest.

This time, I looked worried until he got up. I shot another three spells before casting a shield charm.

We locked eyes and stepped around, dodging and sending spells.

I can hear the professor talking. "Take note of Miss Fallon's stance. That's good if you want good counters and shields. But look at Mr Potter's footwork. Whilst his stance is unorthadox, he dodges her offence easily. Uh, are you taking bets, Mr Gard?"

We're a little too evenly matched, growing reckless with distance and speed. Shifting into close contact spells, I barely saw him past the colourful jets of light around us. He feints and my hand hits him.

"Focus, Potter," I mutter.

"Sorry," he said and I saw his Cheshire cat grin. "I was a little busy looking at your pretty eyes."

"Huh?" I asked and- BANG! He used a jinx to hurl me to the ground. I opened my eyes to see him offering a hand which I took.

As I clear dust off myself and the professor drones on about how excellent Albus was there, Albus rubbed the back of his neck and messed up his hair before saying, "I really meant it. That I'm sorry."

"Fine," I said. "I forgive you... Although I'm widely uncertain as to what I forgive you for, actually. But you know... Love is a... I mean, fancying someone is a very confusing thing."

"Love?" Albus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It was an expression," I sighed. I sighed and checked my watch. The lesson was ending. "I must away on a laughing camel, Albus. I... I'll see you later."

"S'later," Albus said as I walked off.

-x-x-x-x-

Quidditch try-outs. Again. This year, our fearless leader was... Oh DEER LAWD! Ex-boyfriends don't pick ex-girlfriends for teams, do they? Louis stood before the crowd with his bloody keeper uniform on and his ruddy captain armband. He made us split into groups... Basically, he did everything the way James did it. He did the Chasers then the beaters. I had to wait until the end to hear if I made it. Albus and I sat beside the other hopefuls, looking vair professional.

"You... You did well out there," Albus told me.

"Thanks. You too. We really improved last year, didn't we?" I replied.

Albus nodded and kept his eyes on the pitch. "Uh..."

"What?" I asked, cocking my head at an angle and blinking at him.

"Would you- what is Aphie doing?" he started and then pointed at my sister who was stood beside Louis, giggling and twisting her hair. They were talking now that the try-outs were finished. What was she doing with her bloody hair? Flicking around must annoy guys... Right?

Gadzooks!

She was kissing him now!

I sat there next to Albus doing a rather good goldfish impression. I then, without looking, lifted an arm and reached for Albus. At first, it was awkward stroking his arm but as soon as I established it was his arm, I patted it. I gained speed as I noticed where his hands were on her body.

"What is it, Woman?!" Albus demanded, rubbing the spot where I patted him. I think I slapped him a few times.

"First, don't call me woman. Second, my sister is dating Louis! That bitch! Ugh! That freaking bint slag!"

"Calm your knickers, Anya," Albus said as I stood up. He made me sit down just as Louis broke apart from my sister's frigging lips.

"THIS YEAR'S TEAM! KEEPER, MYSELF. CHASERS, CHLOE CHARLTON, HARVEY MAYNARD AND ALEX FREEMAN. BEATERS, ALBUS POTTER AND ANYA FALLON. SEEKER, JASON COLEMAN. THANK YOU ALL FOR TRYING OUT!" Louis announced, amplifying his voice using sonorous.

I looked at Albus. "Now may I storm out angrily?"

Albus shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

"Thank you," I said and marched out of the stands.

Aphie made the mistake of bounding up to me, Rose and Mila in tow. Mila looked wary and Rose was biting her lip anxiously.

"Hey! Congrats, sis! I knew y-" she started and I punched her in the nose.

"My ex? My ex?!" I demanded. "I can't believe you, Aphrodite! I can't believe you!"

I ran off the castle. It was a Hogsmeade weekend and the try-outs had been held early. I stormed through the hall and heard a familiar deep voice calling my name. I half expected it to be Albus.

"Anya!" said the voice of James Potter.

I spun on my heel and looked at him, confused. "James?"

"Hey. Did you make the team again?" James asked.

"Yes, James. I am still a Gryffie," I said, sounding deadpanned.

"What's up?" James asked, looking less bright.

"My damn sister is dating Louis now," I said.

"I thought you didn't like him even when you were dating. Said he was boring," James said.

"I don't like him. Not in that way. But you don't date your sister's ex-boyfriend!" I said, huffing as I continued up to the Gryffindor tower, James in tow.

"I get it," James nodded. "Look, Annie, you noticed for yourself that he always liked to stare at her. You can't say you didn't see this coming."

"James, I'd like to just go into the common room and freaking change for Hogsmeade," I told him.

I let James into the common room and went up to change before coming back down to see him chatting with Albus. My heart sped up a little and I smiled a little as I came down the stairs.

"Did you light her bed on fire?" Albus asked me.

"I forgot," I said and turned. James caught my wrist.

"Come on, kittycat," he said. "James the Red Train is going to show you how to drink your troubles away."

"But I don't want to get drunk! I want to set her bed on fire!" I said as James and Albus dragged me out of the common room. I saw a guy from fourth year as they pulled me away from the portrait hole. "Hi, Clifford the Big Red Dog!"

He looked confused at me and called after me, "I'm not a dog and I'd prefer to be called Clifford the Large."

Albus and James laughed a little. By the time we got to Hogsmeade, I had given up on trying to get away and just walked with the boys. James just strolled into the Three Broomsticks. Mila and Rose were sat inside with a round of butterbeer and firewhiskey waiting for us.

Rose pushed a butterbeer to me when I sat down. "We didn't know, either, if it helps."

"Thanks but I'm only hurt that she's dating an ex. She can have him but still... You know?" I said and downed my butterbeer.

"Slow down," James said and tapped my hand away from another butterbeer. "You'll end up like Janet Bell if you drink too much too fast."

"You said you were going to teach me how to drink my troubles away," I pointed out.

"Oh yeah," James said.

"How about a game?" Mila suggested. "We're in the back of the pub and James gets free drinks from the landlady because he shagged her."

"I didn't shag her," James frowned.

"You didn't?" Albus asked.

"No. I fake chowed her, though," James said.

"Explain," Rose poked.

We leaned in as James explained.

"When a guy goes south on a girl and doesn't really want to use his tongue so he makes lip slapping noises and just uses his fingers," James explained.

We all looked at James. We looked at each other. We all took our drinks in unison and drank.

"What game, Milly?" I asked.

"Truth or Dare but more interesting," she smirked, wiping a butterbeer moustache off her top lip. "We add more options. Truth, dare, double dare, love kiss or promise. You know truth or dare. Double dare is a dare which you must do. No forfeits. No changes. Definitely no backing out. Love is just a more specific truth. You have to tell us who you love. Obviously. Kiss is a specific double dare. You have to do it. Promise is a sort of dare. Someone makes you promise something and you are bound to keep it. Sometimes done by unbreakable vows."

James looked excited. Rose was thinking it over. Albus looked wary but nodded. I just shrugged and nodded my head.

"I'll go first," I volunteered.

James smirked. "Truth, dare, double dare, love, kiss or promise?"

"Dare," I chose.

"I dare you to... flash to Albus and I," James smirked.

I rolled my eyes as he pulled Albus to his side. He knows I don't back down from dares. Rose and Mila played security and looked out for us as I pulled my shirt up for a few seconds before putting it back down.

James whistled and punched the slack-jawed Albus' shoulder. "Now that... is a dare devil."

"Shut up, James," I said.

"Truth, dare, double dare, love, kiss or promise?" Mila asked James.

"Kiss," James grinned.

"Go kiss... that witch on the stool beside Lily," Albus challenged.

James raised an eyebrow. He marched over to Lily and her friend who were sat at a table near the bar. They chatted a while. And then he did it. He kissed Lily's friend! Lily chased him as he ran back over, laughing his head off.

"JAMES SIRIUS POTTER!" Lily stormed. I gave Lily a glass of butterbeer.

"Forget it, Lils. He's playing a game because my sister is dating Louis," I told her.

"Oh..." Lily said.

"I'm going to leave, Lily. I'll see you later," her friend said before dashing off, bright faced.

Lily sat next to me. "What are we playing?"

"Truth, dare, double dare-" Mila started.

"I know that game," Lily said. Her brothers sat to attention and she waved them off. "I don't kiss in these games."

They relaxed.

"Usually."

James tensed and Albus closed his eyes, pressing his bloody soft lips together.

"Mila?" Rose asked.

"Love," she said eagerly. "I totally love Lysander Scamander!"

"Uhuh..." I said. "I can recite this. I read your diary regularly. Each time you change the password, it gets easier to break into, by the way."

I jumped up on the table. I acted like a lovesick Mila.

"Oh, Lysander! Your hair is so amazing! I just want to hit number ten with you, Lysander! Oh!"

The others laughed but Albus asked what a number ten is.

"Well, long ago, my mother was actually a nice person. Apparently. I found her old diary in the attic when I was escaping from the nanny once. She had loads of well random things in it. She had this snogging scale. Said it was from some book from when she was younger," I told Albus.

"Go on," James encouraged.

"Right. One half is called sticky eyes. From what I read, that is just when a girl or guy stares at the person they like to try and get their attention," I started. "One is holding hands. Two- arms around waist, shoulders, etcetera. Three is a kiss goodnight or goodbye. Four is a kiss lasting over three minutes. Without coming up for air."

"Bloody hell! I don't want to find out if Mum had anything like this," Albus said and James concurred.

"Shush," I said and hit his leg. "Four and a half is hand snogging... I don't know. I honestly don't know. Five is open mouth kissing and six is tongues. Six and three quarters is ear snogging."

"Uh..." Rose said.

"What?" Mila asked her.

Rose was bright red.

"Ro reached six and three quarters?" Lily asked. She snickered.

"Shut up," Rose said and pushed Lily's arm feebly.

"Seven," I continued, "is upper body fondling outdoors. Eight is upper body fondling indoors. Nine is below waist activity- of any kind except for ten which is sex."

James smirked. "How about a group truth? How far have you gotten?"

Lily smirked. She stood up. "Eight. Now, I have to go."

She left, leaving her brothers with slack jaws.

Mila cleared her throat. "Nine..." she said.

I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Lorcan Scamander felt me up last year," she said. "You weren't really talking to anyone at the time so I couldn't tell you, really."

I nodded, surprised.

"Rose?" Albus asked.

"I... Scorpius and I got to ten..." Rose said.

"Haven't seen him lately," I noted. "How is he?"

"He's... He's, uh, fine," Rose divvered.

"James?" Albus asked.

"Ten," he shrugged.

That is so totally news. Not.

"I've gotten to eight," Albus said.

Was that me? It might have been. Did he feel me up? I can't remember. How far have I gone?

"Eight," I said and took a sip of firewhiskey.

Albus looked away and James looked like he did when Lily said eight. Like he wanted to punch whoever did it. He'd be punching his own brother then. Mila saw Albus' reaction and excused herself- and me by dragging me by my collar into the girls lavatory.

"I'm going to call this place the tart's wardrobe now," I said, thinking about the diary.

"You reached eight with Albus, didn't you?" she questioned.

"Kinda, yeah. I told you about it, didn't I? I got caught by Professor Mercury," I reminded her.

"You told me you snogged him. You said nothing about fondling," Mila pointed out.

I rolled my eyes. "That is the least of my problems, Mila. Look, he did that a week ago, right? Well, today I have a problem."

"And?"

"I think... No. I know... that I... Kinda... Sorta... Might just maybe... haveacrushonAlbus," I said and winced at her expression of shock.

"So now what?" she asked after a quick recovery.

"Now? Now... He knows, by the way. Now, I just sit here in rejection city," I said.

"That's cool," said a male voice and Mila and I screamed, chasing James back outside to the table.

"How much of that did you hear?" I demanded, grabbing his collar.

"Not much. Just that he knows and you sit in rejection city," James said.

Albus looked alarmed out of the corner of my eye.

"Shut up, James," I said and pushed him away. I sat and downed a firewhiskey without coming up for air.

We didn't play the game any more.

-x-x-x-x-

It was getting late when James walked us drunken people back to the castle. Albus spent a lot of time hugging James before James threw him off like an old overcoat to hug Mila and Rose and then myself.

"Good night, kittycat," he whispered in my ear.

I giggled. "Nighty, night, Big Red Train."

"You're so funny when you're drunk," James whispered in my ear. I could feel his nose against the tip of my ear. I felt his warm breath against my neck.

"You're funny anyway, James," I said. I turned my head a little and James kissed me.

I heard the girls gasp as James' arms went around my waist and brought me closer to him. His hand went up to my chin as he pulled away and rested his forehead on mine. It didn't feel right. It felt... It wasn't soft or sensual. It wasn't... It didn't make me go 'wow' at all.

"I'll see you next Hogsmeade weekend, kittycat. Ta ta for now."

And with that, he left, leaving me to giggle with Albus and the girls. He fell over not far away.

"What just happened?" Albus asked, apparently sobered.

"James drank too much," Rose said and ran to help James up from the cobbles. Mila had to go and help him.

Albus looked at me. "I thought you liked me!"

"I do like you," I frowned.

"Then why did you kiss him?" Albus asked, getting annoyed.

"Because it's not like you'd kiss me," I said and ran inside, away from Albus and away from James. Away from Rose and Mila. I didn't go up to the tower so I was running away from Aphie, too.

I was in the dungeons before I realised where I was running. Why was I in the dungeons? Crap. A prefect found me and escorted me back to the Gryffindor common room, deducting thirty points for being drunk. I stumbled back into the common room and was caught by a familiar pair of hands. I turned to see Louis and Aphie staring at me, worried.

"What?" I asked. "What? Afraid I'm going to actually set your bed on fire? That I'll kill myself? He isn't worth it! Stupid, Potter! He isn't worth my tears!"

I fell to my knees and started to cry. Aphie got down and hugged me, shushing me gently.

"Stupid, Potter!" I cried softly.

"He's over there," Aphie whispered in my ear.

"James bloody kissed me," I told her. "In front of Albus."

"What?" Aphie said.

"It just happened," Mila said, somewhere in the distance.

"Let's get you off to bed," Aphie said and helped me up the staircase and into my dorm, allowing me to sleep in my clothes after I refused to take them off.

Aphie sighed as I started to drift off. "You look like Mother did before Royce..."

I fell asleep with that thought in my head.

-x-x-x-x-

"My head feels horrible," I said, banging it against the Gryffindor table the next morning.

"It would," Mila said. "You drank a lot last night."

"What did I even do? I can't remember coming back," I lied.

"James Potter kissed you. Being drunk, you and Albus argued about it and then you ran off crying," Rose supplied as Aphie braided my hair.

I forgot to be mad at her for dating Louis. It was silly, anyway. I looked down the table at Albus who looked miserable as Louis spoke to him, looking worried. I sighed.

"I might as well have confessed my love, huh?" I asked.

Mila nodded, "Yup."

"Now what?" Aphie asked.

"Easy. I go and jump off a cliff," I sighed.

"Don't talk such nonsense," scolded Rose.

"RoRo, I heard that Anya likes Albus," Lily said, sitting next to Rose. She looked at me. "If you do, you should totally date him."

"Oh..." Rose said, looking at Albus.

I looked and was horrified when I saw it. A bloody leggy blonde was flirting with him. A lot.

"Oi! Barbie!" Mila said and threw a muffin at the girl who backed away (then broke into a sort of run as fast as her little heels could carry her).

Albus looked at us and I stood up, moving away from the hall.

"Where are you going?" Rose asked.

"Some place dark," I said. "With milk."


End file.
